Quote

As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don't care if he's Jack the Ripper.

Janet Evanovich

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
House
Two
Care
Ripper
Long
Bathrooms
Bathroom
Jack
Swear

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

Image
Morelli beeped his truck unlocked. “If you’re looking for your rent-a-cop, I told Ranger you’d be with me this morning.” “Did he make you take a blood oath that you’d protect me?” “He asked me if I had adequate health insurance.
Janet Evanovich
Image
Oh good. I love being bait for a homicidal mutilator. Stephanie Plum
Janet Evanovich
Image
How many times have I told you not to hit people in the face. You kick them in the body where it doesn't show.
Janet Evanovich
Image
I make lots of mistakes. I try hard not to make the same mistake more than three or four times.
Janet Evanovich
Image
There's me and then there's you, and you aren't ever going to be as good as me, Sweet Thing. Ranger
Janet Evanovich
Image
A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity.
Janet Evanovich
Image
You'd tell me if we were getting married, wouldn't you? I mean, you wouldn't just appear on my doorstep one day and say we were due at the church in an hour.
Janet Evanovich
Image
Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy.
Janet Evanovich
Image
And then it gets so hot that they keep the supermarkets too cold. Hot, cold. Hot, cold. It gives me the runs. Mr. Landowsky
Janet Evanovich
Image
Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap cheat sheet.
Janet Evanovich
Image
I shot that sucker right in the gumpy. Grandma Mazur
Janet Evanovich
Image
I'm so busy writing and editing two books a year that I don't have time for painting anymore.
Janet Evanovich
Image
Maybe it was me, Grandma said.Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?
Janet Evanovich
Image
Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. I gotta get me a pair if those, she said, eyeballing my shorts. I've still got pretty good legs, you know. She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. What do you think? You think I'd look good in them biker things? Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs.
Janet Evanovich
Image
The way I see it, living in New Jersey is a challenge, what with the toxic waste and the eighteen wheelers and the armed schizophrenics. Connie Rosolli
Janet Evanovich
Image
If anything happened to you, I'd be so destroyed they'd have to strap me to a bed and feed me through a tube. After five or six years, I might be capable of taking care of Rex. In the interim, you should assign a guardian.
Janet Evanovich
Image
I hung my head. Ranger was next on the list. “Yo,” Ranger said when he answered. “Small problem.” “No kidding. Your car just went off the screen.” “It sort of burned up.” Silence. “And you know that keypad you gave me? It was in the car.” “Babe.
Janet Evanovich
Image
Okay, take a deep breath, I told myself. Don't go all hormonal. Get the facts straight. Have a mental doughnut.
Janet Evanovich
Image
She doesn’t know,” Cate said. “Kellen is a secret. I didn’t think my mother would approve.” “Why wouldn’t your mother approve?” Pugg asked. “It’s my job,” Kellen said. “I kill people. It pays well, but it’s not universally socially acceptable.
Janet Evanovich
Image
I take in a lot of stuff from real life, movies, television, news and it all gets mixed in my head and somehow turns into a story idea.
Janet Evanovich