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You're going to find this hard to believe, but cops aren't required to carry emergency condoms. Joe Morelli
Janet Evanovich
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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Find
Condom
Hard
Cops
Going
Emergency
Believe
Emergencies
Cop
Required
Carry
Aren
Condoms
More quotes by Janet Evanovich
[Stephanie Plum]Jeez. No True Love [Grandma Mazur] There's always been true love, but in my day, you either talked yourself into thinking you had it, or you talked yourself into thinking you didn't need it.
Janet Evanovich
Valerie was crying, too. She was laughing and sniffling back sobs. “I’m going to marry my snuggy wuggums,” she said. Morelli paused, his fork halfway to the roast chicken platter. He slid his eyes to me and leaned close. “If you ever call me snuggy wuggums in public I’ll lock you in the cellar and chain you to the furnace.
Janet Evanovich
A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity.
Janet Evanovich
Have you eaten?' I asked Diesel. When?' Recently.' No.
Janet Evanovich
I don't know if it's a good idea to give a woman a box of bullets when she's got a pimple.
Janet Evanovich
How was your day? Morelli asked me. Oh, you know, the usual. Stole a truck. Blew up a building, and brought seven monkeys home with me.
Janet Evanovich
It wasn't exactly that Lula was fat. It was more that she was too short for her weight. - Stephanie Plum
Janet Evanovich
Transitions are critically important. I want the reader to turn the page without thinking she's turning the page. It must flow seamlessly.
Janet Evanovich
Maybe it was me, Grandma said.Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?
Janet Evanovich
I hate mornings. They start so early.
Janet Evanovich
I failed math twice, never fully grasping probability theory. I mean, first off, who cares if you pick a black ball or a white ball out of the bag? And second, if you’re bent over about the color, don’t leave it to chance. Look in the damn bag and pick the color you want.
Janet Evanovich
Is there anything else you need from me? Ranger asked. Not right now. There will come a time, Ranger said. Let me know when. And he disconnected. I opened the freezer and stuck my head in to cool off. If there'd been any more innuendo in that conversation, I could have fried an egg on my forehead.
Janet Evanovich
Your on your on with this one babe. Coward. Calling me names isn't going to get me in there. -Ranger and Stephanie
Janet Evanovich
Men are like shoes. Some fit better than others. And sometimes you go out shopping and there's nothing you like. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you don't have the money to buy both.-
Janet Evanovich
I may not be the most patient woman in the world, or the most glamorous, or the most athletic, but I'm right up there at the top of the line when it comes to resiliency.
Janet Evanovich
Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything. -Lula
Janet Evanovich
Are you telling me you think Ranger's a superhero?' Think about it. We don't know where he lives. We don't know anything about him.' Superheroes are make-believe.' Oh yeah?' Lula said. 'What about God?
Janet Evanovich
You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?” “Yeah. I sucked it out of the church. You know that bird-bath thing they got right up front?” “The baptismal font?” “That’s it. They got it filled with holy water, free for the taking.” “Brilliant,” I said to Lula. She tapped her head with her finger. “No grass growin’ here.
Janet Evanovich
Morelli beeped his truck unlocked. “If you’re looking for your rent-a-cop, I told Ranger you’d be with me this morning.” “Did he make you take a blood oath that you’d protect me?” “He asked me if I had adequate health insurance.
Janet Evanovich
Cupcake, your middle name is trouble.
Janet Evanovich
