Quote

I was watching television and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down. Grandma Mazur

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Television
Eyes
Grandma
Eye
Stick
Persons
Slow
Person
Sticks
Fingers
Watching
Saws

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A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity.
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Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head. Eddie DeChooch
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You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli
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I have bad car juju. -Stephanie Plum
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Oh, for God's sake, I said. Just give me the stupid thing. I took the panic button and stuck it into my Super Sexy Miracle Bra. GPS, Ranger said to Morelli. Probably I can find her breast without it, Morelli said. But it's good to know there's a navigational system on board if I need it.
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He [Ranger] peeled my [Stephanie] clothes off and wrangled me into bed. And then suddenly he was inside me. He once told me that time spent with him would ruin me for all other men. When he said it, I thought it was an outrageous threat. I no longer though it outrageous.
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You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious.-
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You owe me! -Stephanie Why do I owe you? -Joe I caught your no good cousin. -Stephanie Yeah and in the process you burned down a funeral home, and damaged thousands of dollars of government property. -Joe Well if you are going to be picky about it.... -Stephanie
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The note wasn't signed, but I could tell it was from Morelli by the way my nipples got hard.
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I don't know much about cars, Joyce said, but I think someone took my engine.
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I'd kiss you, but you smell like a gym bag.
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No one expected a first year engineering student to build the perfect bridge.
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Transitions are critically important. I want the reader to turn the page without thinking she's turning the page. It must flow seamlessly.
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He had a body like batman
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If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office.
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I always know it's Sunday because I wake up feeling apologetic. That's one of the cool things about being a Catholic . . . it's a multifaceted experience. If you lose the faith, chances are you'll keep the guilt, so it isn't as if you've been skunked altogether.
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He doesn’t look very smart,” Diesel said. “He’s not even giving me the finger.” “Can monkey’s do that?” Hal asked. Carl gave him the finger. “Cool!” Hal said.
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I mostly eat peanut butter sandwiches. Peanut butter and banana, peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and potato chips, peanut butter and olives, and peanut butter and marshmallow goo. So sue me, I like peanut butter.
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Some people learn from books, some listen to the advice of others, some learn from mistakes. I fit into the last category. So sue me.
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What are you doing back at the bakery?” I asked [Diesel]. “Did you know Wulf was here?” “No. I knew food was here.
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