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The way I see it, living in New Jersey is a challenge, what with the toxic waste and the eighteen wheelers and the armed schizophrenics. Connie Rosolli

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Jersey
Challenge
Waste
Challenges
Schizophrenics
Living
Connie
Way
Toxic
Eighteen
Armed

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Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. --Stephanie Plum
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There's a small possibility that I might be a murder suspect Stephanie
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You could be the Mega Mage of wizards. You could rule Minionfire. Do you really think so?' Yeah, but you'd have to make a deal with the wood elves.' I don't like the wood elves.' They're okay. They're misunderstood.
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Ranger sent us to check on you, Hal said. We just got here, and we heard shots. Some moron ate my jelly doughnut, Lula said. So I shot him.
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Transitions are critically important. I want the reader to turn the page without thinking she's turning the page. It must flow seamlessly.
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You're not looking for a partner, Ranger said. You're looking for an enforcer. You hate to run. You must be worried about getting into that black dress. What did you eat just now? Piece of cake? Candy bar? Everything, I said. I just ate everything.
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He doesn’t look very smart,” Diesel said. “He’s not even giving me the finger.” “Can monkey’s do that?” Hal asked. Carl gave him the finger. “Cool!” Hal said.
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I make lots of mistakes. I try hard not to make the same mistake more than three or four times.
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Are you telling me your brain and your lady parts decided on a love fest bake-off winner?
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Almost everybody I know has died,” Grandma said. “Bunch of wimps.
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You can't put cuffs on Mr. Cluck! What will the kids think? Stuart Bagget
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Some people learn from books, some listen to the advice of others, some learn from mistakes. I fit into the last category. So sue me.
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Has it ever occurred to you that you might be delusional?' That's what the psychiatrist said, but I think he's wrong. There's an evil flying pizza out there, and it's got Brenda's name on it.
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You gonna take the case? It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of. You're gonna have a devil of a time finding him if it was aliens, Grandma said.
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What's this outfit? You can't afford clothes? Are you wearing other peoples? Helen Plum
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Stephanie, I'm begging you. Eat some doughnuts. I can't keep going like this. - Morelli
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Omygod, I haven’t got years. I’ll have to hide in the Bat Cave.” “Once you go to the Bat Cave it’s forever, babe.” Eeek.
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Turns out, that's how it is with weddings. You just keep getting in deeper and deeper until you want to throw up.
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I hung my head. Ranger was next on the list. “Yo,” Ranger said when he answered. “Small problem.” “No kidding. Your car just went off the screen.” “It sort of burned up.” Silence. “And you know that keypad you gave me? It was in the car.” “Babe.
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He [Ranger] peeled my [Stephanie] clothes off and wrangled me into bed. And then suddenly he was inside me. He once told me that time spent with him would ruin me for all other men. When he said it, I thought it was an outrageous threat. I no longer though it outrageous.
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