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The way I see it, living in New Jersey is a challenge, what with the toxic waste and the eighteen wheelers and the armed schizophrenics. Connie Rosolli

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Eighteen
Armed
Jersey
Challenge
Waste
Challenges
Schizophrenics
Living
Connie
Way
Toxic

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I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?
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And then it gets so hot that they keep the supermarkets too cold. Hot, cold. Hot, cold. It gives me the runs. Mr. Landowsky
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Excuse me? I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. Coffee? I thought we came here for pie. I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here. I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked.
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Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy.
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He doesn’t look very smart,” Diesel said. “He’s not even giving me the finger.” “Can monkey’s do that?” Hal asked. Carl gave him the finger. “Cool!” Hal said.
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If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk, I said to Ranger. Not drunk, Ranger said. Just relaxed and naked.
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There's me and then there's you, and you aren't ever going to be as good as me, Sweet Thing. Ranger
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Ranger sent us to check on you, Hal said. We just got here, and we heard shots. Some moron ate my jelly doughnut, Lula said. So I shot him.
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I was waiting for my body receipt when Morelli walked in. He nodded to Ranger and grinned at me in my whiteness. “I was at my desk, and Mickey told me I had to come out to take a look,” Morelli said. “It’s floor,” I told him. “I can see that. If we add some milk and eggs, we can turn you into a cake.
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When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.
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He had a body like batman
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Since I write in first person and have no idea what goes on in men's heads.
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I took all of my rejection letters - there must have been thousands of them in a huge box - and I went out on the curb and burned them all, crying.
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Somewhere along the line, I realized that I liked telling stories, and I decided that I would try writing. Ten years later, I finally got a book published. It was hard. I had no skills. I knew nothing about the business of getting published. So I had to keep working at it.
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It was dark and raining, with bad visibility, but this was Jersey, and we don't slow down for anything.
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Are you telling me your brain and your lady parts decided on a love fest bake-off winner?
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I hate mornings. They start so early.
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you see what I'm saying? Mooner said. Something else always comes along. You go to jail, you don't have to worry about anything. No rent to pay. No food bill to sweat. Free dental plan. And that's worth something, dude.You don't wnat to stick your nose up at free dental.
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I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum
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Valerie was crying, too. She was laughing and sniffling back sobs. “I’m going to marry my snuggy wuggums,” she said. Morelli paused, his fork halfway to the roast chicken platter. He slid his eyes to me and leaned close. “If you ever call me snuggy wuggums in public I’ll lock you in the cellar and chain you to the furnace.
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