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Bullets are creepy. Stephenie

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Bullets
Creepy

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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You'd tell me if we were getting married, wouldn't you? I mean, you wouldn't just appear on my doorstep one day and say we were due at the church in an hour.
Janet Evanovich
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You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?” “Yeah. I sucked it out of the church. You know that bird-bath thing they got right up front?” “The baptismal font?” “That’s it. They got it filled with holy water, free for the taking.” “Brilliant,” I said to Lula. She tapped her head with her finger. “No grass growin’ here.
Janet Evanovich
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I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want?
Janet Evanovich
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Everyone knows that if you buy chocolate with spare change, then the calories don't count.
Janet Evanovich
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The elevator doors opened, and Ranger stepped out and spied Tank stretched out on the carpet. Fainted, I said. Ranger walked to Tank and stood hands on hips, staring down at him. Tank doesn't faint. I've been in firefights with him. He's a rock. Well, the rock fainted.
Janet Evanovich
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[Stephanie Plum]Jeez. No True Love [Grandma Mazur] There's always been true love, but in my day, you either talked yourself into thinking you had it, or you talked yourself into thinking you didn't need it.
Janet Evanovich
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You should see me work my magic in leather Ranger
Janet Evanovich
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It was dark and raining, with bad visibility, but this was Jersey, and we don't slow down for anything.
Janet Evanovich
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You think I'm gonna feel better eatin' a carrot? Get a grip. There's two idiots out there trying to kill me, and you think I'm gonna waste my last breath on a vegetable? (Lula)
Janet Evanovich
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Here's a basic difference between Morelli and me. My first thought was always of cake. His first thought was always of sex. Don't get me wrong. I like sex . . . a lot. But it's never going to replace cake.
Janet Evanovich
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Nice dress you're almost wearing. You ever think about changing professions? -Ranger
Janet Evanovich
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I don't know if it's a good idea to give a woman a box of bullets when she's got a pimple.
Janet Evanovich
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Personally, I'm a lazy kind of guy, and leaving the door open on the mystical saves me work. I don't have to stress my brain trying to explain the unexplainable. It's magic. End of discussion.
Janet Evanovich
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Has it ever occurred to you that you might be delusional?' That's what the psychiatrist said, but I think he's wrong. There's an evil flying pizza out there, and it's got Brenda's name on it.
Janet Evanovich
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Stephanie, I'm begging you. Eat some doughnuts. I can't keep going like this. - Morelli
Janet Evanovich
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Since I write in first person and have no idea what goes on in men's heads.
Janet Evanovich
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You can't put cuffs on Mr. Cluck! What will the kids think? Stuart Bagget
Janet Evanovich
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Give me the gun. Ranger said. I extracted the gun from my pants and handed it over. Ranger held the gun in the pulm of his hand and smiled. It's warm, he said. He put the gun in the glove compartment and plugged the key into the ignition. Am I fired? No. Any women who can heat up a gun like that is worth keeping around.
Janet Evanovich
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I really wouldn't classify the books as mysteries. I prefer to say that they're adventures.
Janet Evanovich
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If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk, I said to Ranger. Not drunk, Ranger said. Just relaxed and naked.
Janet Evanovich