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You should see me work my magic in leather Ranger

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Magic
Work
Ranger
Rangers
Leather

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Oh, for God's sake, I said. Just give me the stupid thing. I took the panic button and stuck it into my Super Sexy Miracle Bra. GPS, Ranger said to Morelli. Probably I can find her breast without it, Morelli said. But it's good to know there's a navigational system on board if I need it.
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Turns out, that's how it is with weddings. You just keep getting in deeper and deeper until you want to throw up.
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That's one of the things I like about Mary Lou. She's willing to believe the worst about anyone.
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I met a real looker. He picked me up at the two dollar slot machines, so you know he's no cheapskate. Grandma Mazur
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Ranger sent us to check on you, Hal said. We just got here, and we heard shots. Some moron ate my jelly doughnut, Lula said. So I shot him.
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Nice dress you're almost wearing. You ever think about changing professions? -Ranger
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I looked over at him. Is that a proposal? There was total silence for a couple beats. I'm not sure. It just popped out. Let me know when you're sure. Would you say yes? Morelli asked. I'm not sure.
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I went to the door, and Gary tried hard not to notice I was blue. He looked at his feet, and he looked above my head, and he cleared his throat. It's okay,' I said. 'I know I'm blue.' It caught me by surprise,' he said. 'I didn't want to seem rude.
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There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It's been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls.
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You can't put cuffs on Mr. Cluck! What will the kids think? Stuart Bagget
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I'm so busy writing and editing two books a year that I don't have time for painting anymore.
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Opening my door to Dillon Ruddick, my bulding super. I handed him a cup of coffee. Sorry about the blood. What was it this time? No one reported gunfire. I hit a guy in the face with a hair dryer. Whoa. Dillon said. It wasn't my fault, I told him. Maybe we should lay down some linoleum here. It would make things easier for
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And then it gets so hot that they keep the supermarkets too cold. Hot, cold. Hot, cold. It gives me the runs. Mr. Landowsky
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You don't even need to go to college no more because you could learn how to do everything on YouTube.
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At the other end of the room, Grandma had the lid up on Larry Lipinski. She was standing one foot on a folding chair, one foot on the edge of the casket, and she was taking pictures with a disposable camera.
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I want to see your tailpipe fading off into the sunset. Good luck, I thought. My tailpipe was somewhere on Route 1, along with my muffler.
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You deserved to get run over. And besides, I barely tapped you. The only reason you broke your leg was because you panicked and tripped over your own feet.
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I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to jump up and strangle my grandmother.
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My eyes rolled so far back in my head that I could see myself think
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Men are like shoes. Some fit better than others. And sometimes you go out shopping and there's nothing you like. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you don't have the money to buy both.-
Janet Evanovich