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Oh good. I love being bait for a homicidal mutilator. Stephanie Plum

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Plums
Bait
Good
Love
Stephanie
Plum
Homicidal

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank.
Janet Evanovich
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Omigod,' I said on a sudden flash of sleep-deprived insight. 'You're the big bad wolf.' There are some similarities.
Janet Evanovich
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You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?” “Yeah. I sucked it out of the church. You know that bird-bath thing they got right up front?” “The baptismal font?” “That’s it. They got it filled with holy water, free for the taking.” “Brilliant,” I said to Lula. She tapped her head with her finger. “No grass growin’ here.
Janet Evanovich
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Babe, you've destroyed a car, burned down two buildings, stapled a guy's nuts, and you have sixteen stitches in your leg. Take a night off. Have a glass of wine, watch some television, and go to bed early. -Ranger
Janet Evanovich
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I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?
Janet Evanovich
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Diesel is back, Ranger said. Yes. How did you know? I woke up with a migraine this morning. Ranger said.
Janet Evanovich
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I thought you wanted to date other women? I didn't want to date other women. We decided in the heat of the moment that were no longer exclusively attached. And I could date other men. Morelli was starting to look annoyed. Have you been dating other men? Maybe. As long as it isn't Ranger, Morelli said. I don't think Ranger d
Janet Evanovich
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I failed math twice, never fully grasping probability theory. I mean, first off, who cares if you pick a black ball or a white ball out of the bag? And second, if you’re bent over about the color, don’t leave it to chance. Look in the damn bag and pick the color you want.
Janet Evanovich
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What's this outfit? You can't afford clothes? Are you wearing other peoples? Helen Plum
Janet Evanovich
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I want to see your tailpipe fading off into the sunset. Good luck, I thought. My tailpipe was somewhere on Route 1, along with my muffler.
Janet Evanovich
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Life is about survival of the fittest, and Jersey is producing the master race.
Janet Evanovich
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I got out of the elevator and confronted Mr. Wexler. “Killing is wrong.” “We kill chickens,” Mr. Wexler said. “We kill cows. We kill trees. So big deal, we kill some drug dealers.” It was hard to argue with that kind of logic because I like cows and chickens and trees much better than drug dealers.
Janet Evanovich
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If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.
Janet Evanovich
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I'm for sure a workaholic. I'm a complete control freak and I take on way too many projects.
Janet Evanovich
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One Ranger is all you'll ever need. - Ranger
Janet Evanovich
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Since I write in first person and have no idea what goes on in men's heads.
Janet Evanovich
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Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.
Janet Evanovich
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It was dark and raining, with bad visibility, but this was Jersey, and we don't slow down for anything.
Janet Evanovich
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Omygod, I haven’t got years. I’ll have to hide in the Bat Cave.” “Once you go to the Bat Cave it’s forever, babe.” Eeek.
Janet Evanovich
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Excuse me? I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. Coffee? I thought we came here for pie. I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here. I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked.
Janet Evanovich