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Oh good. I love being bait for a homicidal mutilator. Stephanie Plum

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Homicidal
Plums
Bait
Good
Love
Stephanie
Plum

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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Your life isn't out of control. It's expanded.
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Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. --Stephanie Plum
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I was driving by, doing a security check... and I smelled leg of lamb. Morelli
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Lula's borderline too much of a good thing in lots of ways. It isn't exactly that Lula is fat it's more that she's too short for her weight and her clothes are too small for the volume of flesh she carries.
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Suppose something goes wrong? Suppose you need a big full-figure woman like me to help straighten things out? Lula
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You're going to find this hard to believe, but cops aren't required to carry emergency condoms. Joe Morelli
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When something needs to be ironed I put it in the ironing basket. If a year goes by and the item is still in the basket I throw the item away. This is a good system since eventually I end up only with clothes that don’t need ironing.
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Concentrate on doing the job, not the fear.
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There's me and then there's you, and you aren't ever going to be as good as me, Sweet Thing. Ranger
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About that proposal, cupcake... Morelli
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One Ranger is all you'll ever need. - Ranger
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Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap cheat sheet.
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Are you telling me you think Ranger's a superhero?' Think about it. We don't know where he lives. We don't know anything about him.' Superheroes are make-believe.' Oh yeah?' Lula said. 'What about God?
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The elevator doors opened, and Ranger stepped out and spied Tank stretched out on the carpet. Fainted, I said. Ranger walked to Tank and stood hands on hips, staring down at him. Tank doesn't faint. I've been in firefights with him. He's a rock. Well, the rock fainted.
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I was watching television and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down. Grandma Mazur
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Wondering where Ranger was now, when I needed him. Why wasn’t he here, insisting on locking me up in a safe house? Now that my hamster’s cage was clean, I’d be happy to oblige.
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I hung my head. Ranger was next on the list. “Yo,” Ranger said when he answered. “Small problem.” “No kidding. Your car just went off the screen.” “It sort of burned up.” Silence. “And you know that keypad you gave me? It was in the car.” “Babe.
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they have enough testosterone between them, if testosterone were electricity they could light up New York City for the month of August
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These are desparate times. - Stephanie Plum
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I took all of my rejection letters - there must have been thousands of them in a huge box - and I went out on the curb and burned them all, crying.
Janet Evanovich