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There's me and then there's you, and you aren't ever going to be as good as me, Sweet Thing. Ranger

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Sweet
Ever
Thing
Going
Good
Ranger
Rangers
Aren

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Since I write in first person and have no idea what goes on in men's heads.
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Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any.
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Excuse me? I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. Coffee? I thought we came here for pie. I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here. I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked.
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I'd kiss you, but you smell like a gym bag.
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You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious.-
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Almost everybody I know has died,” Grandma said. “Bunch of wimps.
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If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.
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I think that some books are more successful than others to certain readers. People who read my books for the humor, they're going to love one book. People who read my books for the mystery, they might not like that book quite as much.
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Stephanie,' Valerie said. 'She's going to have a baby, and she's getting married.' My father was confused. He looked around the room. No Joe. No Ranger. His eyes locked on Diesel. 'Not the psycho,' he said. Diesel blew out a sigh. My father turned to my mother. 'Get me the carving knife. Make sure it's sharp.
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Gotta protect the little dudes. I tried an AK-47, but it wouldn't fit under my seat. I like the Uzi better, anyway. It looks better with the dress. The AK seems too casual to me
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Has it ever occurred to you that you might be delusional?' That's what the psychiatrist said, but I think he's wrong. There's an evil flying pizza out there, and it's got Brenda's name on it.
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Somewhere along the line, I realized that I liked telling stories, and I decided that I would try writing. Ten years later, I finally got a book published. It was hard. I had no skills. I knew nothing about the business of getting published. So I had to keep working at it.
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I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want?
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He [Ranger] peeled my [Stephanie] clothes off and wrangled me into bed. And then suddenly he was inside me. He once told me that time spent with him would ruin me for all other men. When he said it, I thought it was an outrageous threat. I no longer though it outrageous.
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Ranger clicked his penlight on. Hang onto me if you can't see. I curled my hand into the back of his cargo pants just above his gun belt. I'm good to go. He was still for a beat. You could have held on to my jacket, he said. Would you rather I do that? No. Not even a little.
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I think I got a bruise from landing on you. I hear bacon is real good for healing a bruise.
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I shot that sucker right in the gumpy. Grandma Mazur
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I'm so busy writing and editing two books a year that I don't have time for painting anymore.
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I see you looking at my cookies,' my father said to Morelli. 'Don't even think about it. Go get your own cookies.
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I don't need handcuffs to enslave a woman.
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