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It's not the pizza, darlin', its my masculine presence. Joe Morelli

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Darlin
Pizza
Masculine
Presence

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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Diesel is back, Ranger said. Yes. How did you know? I woke up with a migraine this morning. Ranger said.
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You're going to find this hard to believe, but cops aren't required to carry emergency condoms. Joe Morelli
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I may not be the most patient woman in the world, or the most glamorous, or the most athletic, but I'm right up there at the top of the line when it comes to resiliency.
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My eyes rolled so far back in my head that I could see myself think
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I've never been in this part of Trenton before. I don't feel comfortable driving around buildings that haven't got gang slogans sprayed on them. Look at this place. No boarded-up windows. No garbage in the gutter. No brothers selling goods on the street. Don't know how people can live like this.
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I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?
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Did you take Joyce's engine?' 'My instructions were to disable the car, but one of the men bet Hal a burger he couldn't get the engine out. So Hal removed the engine.
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I'd slept with Ranger! Not sexually, of course. But I'd been in his bed. And then there was the evil shower gel. It was all because of the shower gel, I said. Morelli's eyes narrowed. Shower gel? I made a major effort not to sigh. Long story. You probably don't want to hear it.
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I stuck my tongue out at him because I was feeling exceptionall mature.
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Howie's doctor told him to lose ten pounds, and since Howie's been on a diet he's gained three.
Janet Evanovich
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I take in a lot of stuff from real life, movies, television, news and it all gets mixed in my head and somehow turns into a story idea.
Janet Evanovich
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Gotta protect the little dudes. I tried an AK-47, but it wouldn't fit under my seat. I like the Uzi better, anyway. It looks better with the dress. The AK seems too casual to me
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A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity.
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Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.
Janet Evanovich
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Sweetie, nothing that flies looks safe, including birds.
Janet Evanovich
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I almost never shoot people.
Janet Evanovich
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Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy.
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Sometimes it's hard to tell what's love and what's only indigestion
Janet Evanovich
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The note wasn't signed, but I could tell it was from Morelli by the way my nipples got hard.
Janet Evanovich
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I got out of the elevator and confronted Mr. Wexler. “Killing is wrong.” “We kill chickens,” Mr. Wexler said. “We kill cows. We kill trees. So big deal, we kill some drug dealers.” It was hard to argue with that kind of logic because I like cows and chickens and trees much better than drug dealers.
Janet Evanovich