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These are desparate times. - Stephanie Plum

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Stephanie
Plum
Plums
Times

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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What are you doing back at the bakery?” I asked [Diesel]. “Did you know Wulf was here?” “No. I knew food was here.
Janet Evanovich
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Maybe it was me, Grandma said.Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?
Janet Evanovich
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You gonna take the case? It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of. You're gonna have a devil of a time finding him if it was aliens, Grandma said.
Janet Evanovich
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I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want?
Janet Evanovich
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Everyone knows that if you buy chocolate with spare change, then the calories don't count.
Janet Evanovich
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Sweetie, nothing that flies looks safe, including birds.
Janet Evanovich
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I could use some help with an FTA. What's your problem? He's old, and I'll look like a loser if I shoot him.
Janet Evanovich
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Howie's doctor told him to lose ten pounds, and since Howie's been on a diet he's gained three.
Janet Evanovich
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I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum
Janet Evanovich
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I may not be the most patient woman in the world, or the most glamorous, or the most athletic, but I'm right up there at the top of the line when it comes to resiliency.
Janet Evanovich
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From the look on your face, I'd say you know him. I nodded. Sold him a cannoli when I was in high school. Connie grunted. Honey, half of all the women in New Jersey have sold him their cannoli
Janet Evanovich
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You think I'm gonna feel better eatin' a carrot? Get a grip. There's two idiots out there trying to kill me, and you think I'm gonna waste my last breath on a vegetable? (Lula)
Janet Evanovich
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You can run, but you can't hide, Cupcake. Morelli said. I'll find you. You are such a cop. Tell me about it.
Janet Evanovich
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I don't think his elevator went all the way to the top anymore, if you know what I mean
Janet Evanovich
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When something needs to be ironed I put it in the ironing basket. If a year goes by and the item is still in the basket I throw the item away. This is a good system since eventually I end up only with clothes that don’t need ironing.
Janet Evanovich
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Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. --Stephanie Plum
Janet Evanovich
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I was waiting for my body receipt when Morelli walked in. He nodded to Ranger and grinned at me in my whiteness. “I was at my desk, and Mickey told me I had to come out to take a look,” Morelli said. “It’s floor,” I told him. “I can see that. If we add some milk and eggs, we can turn you into a cake.
Janet Evanovich
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Cupcake , you've been breaking my heart for as long as I've known you
Janet Evanovich
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How was your day? Morelli asked me. Oh, you know, the usual. Stole a truck. Blew up a building, and brought seven monkeys home with me.
Janet Evanovich
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You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious.-
Janet Evanovich