Quote

I see you looking at my cookies,' my father said to Morelli. 'Don't even think about it. Go get your own cookies.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Father
Even
Think
Thinking
Cookies
Looking

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If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk, I said to Ranger. Not drunk, Ranger said. Just relaxed and naked.
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Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. I gotta get me a pair if those, she said, eyeballing my shorts. I've still got pretty good legs, you know. She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. What do you think? You think I'd look good in them biker things? Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs.
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That's one of the things I like about Mary Lou. She's willing to believe the worst about anyone.
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Life is about survival of the fittest, and Jersey is producing the master race.
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I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?
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As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don't care if he's Jack the Ripper.
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Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap cheat sheet.
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Ranger clicked his penlight on. Hang onto me if you can't see. I curled my hand into the back of his cargo pants just above his gun belt. I'm good to go. He was still for a beat. You could have held on to my jacket, he said. Would you rather I do that? No. Not even a little.
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I don't know much about cars, Joyce said, but I think someone took my engine.
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I rolled my eyes so far into the top of my head I almost fell over backward.
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Jesus, Morelli, you sound like you have PMS. You have to learn to lighten up a little. It's just a car alarm. You should be thanking me. I had it installed with my own money.
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Maybe it was me, Grandma said.Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?
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These are desparate times. - Stephanie Plum
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There's me and then there's you, and you aren't ever going to be as good as me, Sweet Thing. Ranger
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You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?” “Yeah. I sucked it out of the church. You know that bird-bath thing they got right up front?” “The baptismal font?” “That’s it. They got it filled with holy water, free for the taking.” “Brilliant,” I said to Lula. She tapped her head with her finger. “No grass growin’ here.
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Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.
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I may not be the most patient woman in the world, or the most glamorous, or the most athletic, but I'm right up there at the top of the line when it comes to resiliency.
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Are we fighting? I asked Morelli. No. Were discussing. Are you sure? Am I yelling? Morelli asked. Is my face purple? Are the cords on my neck standing out? Am I waving my arms around? No. The were not fighting.
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It was dark and raining, with bad visibility, but this was Jersey, and we don't slow down for anything.
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Valerie was crying, too. She was laughing and sniffling back sobs. “I’m going to marry my snuggy wuggums,” she said. Morelli paused, his fork halfway to the roast chicken platter. He slid his eyes to me and leaned close. “If you ever call me snuggy wuggums in public I’ll lock you in the cellar and chain you to the furnace.
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