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Has it ever occurred to you that you might be delusional?' That's what the psychiatrist said, but I think he's wrong. There's an evil flying pizza out there, and it's got Brenda's name on it.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Think
Occurred
Thinking
Flying
Name
Names
Wrong
Brenda
Evil
Delusional
Ever
Psychiatrist
Might
Pizza

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Are you telling me you think Ranger's a superhero?' Think about it. We don't know where he lives. We don't know anything about him.' Superheroes are make-believe.' Oh yeah?' Lula said. 'What about God?
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Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.
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Turns out, that's how it is with weddings. You just keep getting in deeper and deeper until you want to throw up.
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Excuse me? I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. Coffee? I thought we came here for pie. I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here. I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked.
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I have bad car juju. -Stephanie Plum
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Amen Lula said and she made the sign of the cross. I thought you were Baptist. Yeah, but we don't got any hand signals for an occasion like this.
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Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. I gotta get me a pair if those, she said, eyeballing my shorts. I've still got pretty good legs, you know. She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. What do you think? You think I'd look good in them biker things? Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs.
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Give me the gun. Ranger said. I extracted the gun from my pants and handed it over. Ranger held the gun in the pulm of his hand and smiled. It's warm, he said. He put the gun in the glove compartment and plugged the key into the ignition. Am I fired? No. Any women who can heat up a gun like that is worth keeping around.
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I could use some help with an FTA. What's your problem? He's old, and I'll look like a loser if I shoot him.
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And then it gets so hot that they keep the supermarkets too cold. Hot, cold. Hot, cold. It gives me the runs. Mr. Landowsky
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Happens to me all the time...People are always underestimating my dumbness.
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they have enough testosterone between them, if testosterone were electricity they could light up New York City for the month of August
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Nice dress. Take it off.
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The note wasn't signed, but I could tell it was from Morelli by the way my nipples got hard.
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I don't know if it's a good idea to give a woman a box of bullets when she's got a pimple.
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Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head. Eddie DeChooch
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As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don't care if he's Jack the Ripper.
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Your on your on with this one babe. Coward. Calling me names isn't going to get me in there. -Ranger and Stephanie
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I always wanted to eat with a Negro,” Grandma said. Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney- assed old white woman,” Lula said. “So I guess this works out good.
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