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Just because i know how to change a guys oil doesn't mean i want to spend the rest of my life on my back, staring up his undercarriage.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Mean
Staring
Life
Guys
Spend
Rest
Guy
Doesn
Change
Back
Oil

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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The elevator doors opened, and Ranger stepped out and spied Tank stretched out on the carpet. Fainted, I said. Ranger walked to Tank and stood hands on hips, staring down at him. Tank doesn't faint. I've been in firefights with him. He's a rock. Well, the rock fainted.
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-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-
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And then it gets so hot that they keep the supermarkets too cold. Hot, cold. Hot, cold. It gives me the runs. Mr. Landowsky
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You owe me! -Stephanie Why do I owe you? -Joe I caught your no good cousin. -Stephanie Yeah and in the process you burned down a funeral home, and damaged thousands of dollars of government property. -Joe Well if you are going to be picky about it.... -Stephanie
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I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to jump up and strangle my grandmother.
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Are you telling me your brain and your lady parts decided on a love fest bake-off winner?
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Opening my door to Dillon Ruddick, my bulding super. I handed him a cup of coffee. Sorry about the blood. What was it this time? No one reported gunfire. I hit a guy in the face with a hair dryer. Whoa. Dillon said. It wasn't my fault, I told him. Maybe we should lay down some linoleum here. It would make things easier for
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It's not the pizza, darlin', its my masculine presence. Joe Morelli
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I'm telling you, it's fu**ing hard to be classy
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I looked over at him. Is that a proposal? There was total silence for a couple beats. I'm not sure. It just popped out. Let me know when you're sure. Would you say yes? Morelli asked. I'm not sure.
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You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious.-
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If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office.
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I don't know if it's a good idea to give a woman a box of bullets when she's got a pimple.
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Sweetie, nothing that flies looks safe, including birds.
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Almost everybody I know has died,” Grandma said. “Bunch of wimps.
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Mooner was walking around laying his hands on the cars, divining karma. this is it, he said, standing by a small khaki-colored jeep.this car has protective qualities You mean like a guardian angel? I mean, like, it has seatbelts
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The note wasn't signed, but I could tell it was from Morelli by the way my nipples got hard.
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I could use some help with an FTA. What's your problem? He's old, and I'll look like a loser if I shoot him.
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I don't know much about cars, Joyce said, but I think someone took my engine.
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You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli
Janet Evanovich