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Just because i know how to change a guys oil doesn't mean i want to spend the rest of my life on my back, staring up his undercarriage.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Rest
Guy
Doesn
Change
Back
Oil
Mean
Staring
Life
Guys
Spend

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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You've been busy using your breaking and entering skills, I said. I just enter. I don't usually break. You broke down Pitch's door. Lost my temper. -Ranger and Stephanie
Janet Evanovich
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My eyes rolled so far back in my head that I could see myself think
Janet Evanovich
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She doesn’t know,” Cate said. “Kellen is a secret. I didn’t think my mother would approve.” “Why wouldn’t your mother approve?” Pugg asked. “It’s my job,” Kellen said. “I kill people. It pays well, but it’s not universally socially acceptable.
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You think I'm gonna feel better eatin' a carrot? Get a grip. There's two idiots out there trying to kill me, and you think I'm gonna waste my last breath on a vegetable? (Lula)
Janet Evanovich
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What are you doing back at the bakery?” I asked [Diesel]. “Did you know Wulf was here?” “No. I knew food was here.
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Excuse me? I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. Coffee? I thought we came here for pie. I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here. I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked.
Janet Evanovich
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Ranger clicked his penlight on. Hang onto me if you can't see. I curled my hand into the back of his cargo pants just above his gun belt. I'm good to go. He was still for a beat. You could have held on to my jacket, he said. Would you rather I do that? No. Not even a little.
Janet Evanovich
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Okay, take a deep breath, I told myself. Don't go all hormonal. Get the facts straight. Have a mental doughnut.
Janet Evanovich
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Bullets are creepy. Stephenie
Janet Evanovich
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Valerie was crying, too. She was laughing and sniffling back sobs. “I’m going to marry my snuggy wuggums,” she said. Morelli paused, his fork halfway to the roast chicken platter. He slid his eyes to me and leaned close. “If you ever call me snuggy wuggums in public I’ll lock you in the cellar and chain you to the furnace.
Janet Evanovich
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I make lots of mistakes. I try hard not to make the same mistake more than three or four times.
Janet Evanovich
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I think I got a bruise from landing on you. I hear bacon is real good for healing a bruise.
Janet Evanovich
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I may not be the most patient woman in the world, or the most glamorous, or the most athletic, but I'm right up there at the top of the line when it comes to resiliency.
Janet Evanovich
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It's not the pizza, darlin', its my masculine presence. Joe Morelli
Janet Evanovich
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When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank.
Janet Evanovich
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When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.
Janet Evanovich
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Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.
Janet Evanovich
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I want to be there when you get Cubbin. And I don’t want to be left out of the television show either. Little people are sexy now. Have you seen Game of Thrones? We’re hot.
Janet Evanovich
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Almost everybody I know has died,” Grandma said. “Bunch of wimps.
Janet Evanovich
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About that proposal, cupcake... Morelli
Janet Evanovich