Quote

Jesus, Morelli, you sound like you have PMS. You have to learn to lighten up a little. It's just a car alarm. You should be thanking me. I had it installed with my own money.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Sound
Jesus
Learn
Installed
Money
Thanking
Littles
Lighten
Little
Alarm
Like
Alarms
Car

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You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli
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He squinted at me. What are you wearing? Is that some new form of birth control?
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I almost never shoot people.
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Aren't you something, Grandma said. I never saw a midget up close. Little person, Briggs said. And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either.
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I don't feel so good. Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. Excuse me. she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.
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Concentrate on doing the job, not the fear.
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Were really screwed up, aren't we? In a very large way.
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Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.
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Nice dress you're almost wearing. You ever think about changing professions? -Ranger
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There's a small possibility that I might be a murder suspect Stephanie
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I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to jump up and strangle my grandmother.
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I could use some help with an FTA. What's your problem? He's old, and I'll look like a loser if I shoot him.
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Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.
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He's a good man, Ranger said. And you? I'm better.
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Almost everybody I know has died,” Grandma said. “Bunch of wimps.
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