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I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want?

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Yogurt
Alarm
Alarms
Nerve
Gas
Nerves
Anyone

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Morelli beeped his truck unlocked. “If you’re looking for your rent-a-cop, I told Ranger you’d be with me this morning.” “Did he make you take a blood oath that you’d protect me?” “He asked me if I had adequate health insurance.
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I really wouldn't classify the books as mysteries. I prefer to say that they're adventures.
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I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.
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Maybe it was me, Grandma said.Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?
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I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?
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You could be the Mega Mage of wizards. You could rule Minionfire. Do you really think so?' Yeah, but you'd have to make a deal with the wood elves.' I don't like the wood elves.' They're okay. They're misunderstood.
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There's a small possibility that I might be a murder suspect Stephanie
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I took all of my rejection letters - there must have been thousands of them in a huge box - and I went out on the curb and burned them all, crying.
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Aren't you something, Grandma said. I never saw a midget up close. Little person, Briggs said. And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either.
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The note wasn't signed, but I could tell it was from Morelli by the way my nipples got hard.
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These are desparate times. - Stephanie Plum
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Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.
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Happens to me all the time...People are always underestimating my dumbness.
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Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. --Stephanie Plum
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I don't want my readers slowed down by long passages of narrative.
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