Quote

Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head. Eddie DeChooch

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Insulting
Shoot
Smart
Saying
Head
Enough
Vest
Like
Vests
Eddie

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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He squinted at me. What are you wearing? Is that some new form of birth control?
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At the other end of the room, Grandma had the lid up on Larry Lipinski. She was standing one foot on a folding chair, one foot on the edge of the casket, and she was taking pictures with a disposable camera.
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Sometimes it's hard to tell what's love and what's only indigestion
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Connie drove a silver Camry with rosary beads hanging from her rearview mirror and a Smith& Wesson stuck under the seat. No matter whatwent down, Connie was covered.
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Cupcake , you've been breaking my heart for as long as I've known you
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These are desparate times. - Stephanie Plum
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How was your day? Morelli asked me. Oh, you know, the usual. Stole a truck. Blew up a building, and brought seven monkeys home with me.
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I don't feel so good. Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. Excuse me. she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.
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You deserved to get run over. And besides, I barely tapped you. The only reason you broke your leg was because you panicked and tripped over your own feet.
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Nice dress you're almost wearing. You ever think about changing professions? -Ranger
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Howie's doctor told him to lose ten pounds, and since Howie's been on a diet he's gained three.
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I'm so busy writing and editing two books a year that I don't have time for painting anymore.
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On the bright side, I'm sure this isn't the last time you'll ever get firebombed, so maybe you'll have better luck next time.
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Sweetie, nothing that flies looks safe, including birds.
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I exchanged my flannel shirt for a Rangers jersey and zapped the television on. Probably I should make more phone calls, but the Rangers were playing and priorities were priorities.
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I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want?
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Here's a basic difference between Morelli and me. My first thought was always of cake. His first thought was always of sex. Don't get me wrong. I like sex . . . a lot. But it's never going to replace cake.
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From the look on your face, I'd say you know him. I nodded. Sold him a cannoli when I was in high school. Connie grunted. Honey, half of all the women in New Jersey have sold him their cannoli
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Are you telling me your brain and your lady parts decided on a love fest bake-off winner?
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If anything happened to you, I'd be so destroyed they'd have to strap me to a bed and feed me through a tube. After five or six years, I might be capable of taking care of Rex. In the interim, you should assign a guardian.
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