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How many times have I told you not to hit people in the face. You kick them in the body where it doesn't show.
Janet Evanovich
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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
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South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
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Cupcake, your middle name is trouble.
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I don't mean to change the subject or anything, but have you tried concealer on that zit? Cynthia Lotte - Hot Six
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Turns out, that's how it is with weddings. You just keep getting in deeper and deeper until you want to throw up.
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Aren't you something, Grandma said. I never saw a midget up close. Little person, Briggs said. And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either.
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Did you take Joyce's engine?' 'My instructions were to disable the car, but one of the men bet Hal a burger he couldn't get the engine out. So Hal removed the engine.
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From the look on your face, I'd say you know him. I nodded. Sold him a cannoli when I was in high school. Connie grunted. Honey, half of all the women in New Jersey have sold him their cannoli
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If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office.
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You can't put cuffs on Mr. Cluck! What will the kids think? Stuart Bagget
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Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap cheat sheet.
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That's one of the things I like about Mary Lou. She's willing to believe the worst about anyone.
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I'm sorry about your Porsche. I can replace the Porsche. I can't replace you. You need to be more careful. I was just sitting in your car! Babe, you're a magnet for disaster.
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Excuse me? I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. Coffee? I thought we came here for pie. I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here. I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked.
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Nice dress you're almost wearing. You ever think about changing professions? -Ranger
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It's not the pizza, darlin', its my masculine presence. Joe Morelli
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Omigod,' I said on a sudden flash of sleep-deprived insight. 'You're the big bad wolf.' There are some similarities.
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Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.
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A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity.
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