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What's this outfit? You can't afford clothes? Are you wearing other peoples? Helen Plum

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Plums
Helen
Outfit
Peoples
Afford
Wearing
Clothes
Plum

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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He's a good man, Ranger said. And you? I'm better.
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Since I write in first person and have no idea what goes on in men's heads.
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The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang, Grandma said. Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.
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Ranger clicked his penlight on. Hang onto me if you can't see. I curled my hand into the back of his cargo pants just above his gun belt. I'm good to go. He was still for a beat. You could have held on to my jacket, he said. Would you rather I do that? No. Not even a little.
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Amen Lula said and she made the sign of the cross. I thought you were Baptist. Yeah, but we don't got any hand signals for an occasion like this.
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Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything. -Lula
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I hung my head. Ranger was next on the list. “Yo,” Ranger said when he answered. “Small problem.” “No kidding. Your car just went off the screen.” “It sort of burned up.” Silence. “And you know that keypad you gave me? It was in the car.” “Babe.
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I'd kiss you, but you smell like a gym bag.
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Suppose something goes wrong? Suppose you need a big full-figure woman like me to help straighten things out? Lula
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I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.
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This isn't just a job. This is a service profession. We uphold the law, babe. Ranger
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Happens to me all the time...People are always underestimating my dumbness.
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Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.
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I thought you wanted to date other women? I didn't want to date other women. We decided in the heat of the moment that were no longer exclusively attached. And I could date other men. Morelli was starting to look annoyed. Have you been dating other men? Maybe. As long as it isn't Ranger, Morelli said. I don't think Ranger d
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I checked my phone messages. Three in all. The first was from Joe. “Hey, Cupcake.” That was it. That was the whole message. The second was from Ranger. “Yo.” Ranger made Joe look like a chatterbox.
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I don't feel so good. Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. Excuse me. she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.
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It's not the pizza, darlin', its my masculine presence. Joe Morelli
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Oh good. I love being bait for a homicidal mutilator. Stephanie Plum
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Lula's borderline too much of a good thing in lots of ways. It isn't exactly that Lula is fat it's more that she's too short for her weight and her clothes are too small for the volume of flesh she carries.
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Your on your on with this one babe. Coward. Calling me names isn't going to get me in there. -Ranger and Stephanie
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