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I don't really have funny things to say about politics. I wish I did, but I don't.
Janeane Garofalo
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Janeane Garofalo
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 28
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Political Activist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Newton
New Jersey
Janeane Marie Garofalo
Politics
Funny
Wish
Really
Things
More quotes by Janeane Garofalo
Men are allowed to age. Men are allowed to gain weight. Men are allowed to be quirky looking.
Janeane Garofalo
Leaving your ears open to the suggestions of others only closes the mind's eye, thereby creating a type of spiritual glaucoma.
Janeane Garofalo
I would tell the Democrats in Washington who are trying to be civil with the bipartisanship to please stop and let the joker die once and for all, let the agents of chaos hit the pavement, stop picking them up.
Janeane Garofalo
I guess when your heart gets broken, you sort of start to see the cracks in everything.
Janeane Garofalo
The handful of corporations that own most of the media outlets have an interest in reflecting establishment views.
Janeane Garofalo
All roads lead to my dogs, don't they?
Janeane Garofalo
To a right-winger, unions are awful. Why do right-wingers hate unions? Because collective bargaining is the power that a worker has against the corporation. Right-wingers hate that.
Janeane Garofalo
You young people with your twittering and your creating of content. Or what is it - queefing? I don't know what you young people are calling it.
Janeane Garofalo
Red flag of the eating disorder: the muffin. Keep your eye on the ladies with the muffins... and sometimes I'll just eat the muffin top.
Janeane Garofalo
We're our own worst enemies a lot of the time, but I still blame men.
Janeane Garofalo
Like I said, I'm just grateful when anyone offers me a job. It's like, Okay. I'll do it. FBI agent is one, too, when you get older. When you're kind of an older lady hard-ass, FBI tends to happen. It's just because I'd like to work rather than not work, so I'm just happy if somebody wants me to do anything.
Janeane Garofalo
I make jewelry occasionally. I'm not a hobbyist. I'm a reader, I'm a lover of books, I like to watch movies, but mostly a lot of nothing. I'm quite content doing very little.
Janeane Garofalo
We got married drunk in Vegas . . . We dated for a year, and we got married at a drive-through chapel in a cab. [We thought] you have to go down to the courthouse and sign papers and stuff, so who knew? We were married, and apparently now that [Rob] is getting married for real, his lawyer dug up something.
Janeane Garofalo
Granted, not really a joke, but how often do you get a mic in your hand? You know? So. I am sorry but don't anybody trip on my soap box on the way out. Don't anybody trip over that. And the chip on my shoulder's a little heavy. I have back problems now.
Janeane Garofalo
I would prefer to be well-liked in any and all situations.
Janeane Garofalo
I can do most anything and not have a problem with it. The only time I have negative attention is when I run naked through the streets brandishing a handgun.
Janeane Garofalo
I got mugged. And they got my knapsack with my comedy notebook in it. So if anybody see two cholos bombing at the Funny Bone chain, that would be them. Just give me a jingle.
Janeane Garofalo
I feel like the American people are being lied to and manipulated. President Bush is trying to force 9/11 and Saddam together.
Janeane Garofalo
I'm sorry for being me. I won't ever do it again.
Janeane Garofalo
You can tell a lot about a person by how excited they are to do the Macarena.
Janeane Garofalo
