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I don't even know why somebody's Twittering as me. I don't understand it, and I wish that it would stop. But there's nothing that can be done. It's so terrible.

Janeane Garofalo

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Janeane Garofalo
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 28
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Political Activist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Newton
New Jersey
Janeane Marie Garofalo
Done
Even
Twittering
Would
Terrible
Somebody
Stop
Wish
Understand
Nothing

More quotes by Janeane Garofalo

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I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half-empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.
Janeane Garofalo
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Granted, not really a joke, but how often do you get a mic in your hand? You know? So. I am sorry but don't anybody trip on my soap box on the way out. Don't anybody trip over that. And the chip on my shoulder's a little heavy. I have back problems now.
Janeane Garofalo
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So, apparently, if you are a pre-sentient mass of cells, this country will protect you and your rights to the n-th degree. If you have made the mistake of becoming an Iraqi citizen, apparently we can just drop bombs on you with impunity.
Janeane Garofalo
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I can do most anything and not have a problem with it. The only time I have negative attention is when I run naked through the streets brandishing a handgun.
Janeane Garofalo
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I don't hate myself, as a general rule. I'd say the best way to describe it is that I have moments of self-loathing at fairly regular intervals.
Janeane Garofalo
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The handful of corporations that own most of the media outlets have an interest in reflecting establishment views.
Janeane Garofalo
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It is not crazy to think that powerful people do some pretty horrible things. And maybe they get out of hand. Maybe it just gets away from them. It snowballs.
Janeane Garofalo
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We got married drunk in Vegas . . . We dated for a year, and we got married at a drive-through chapel in a cab. [We thought] you have to go down to the courthouse and sign papers and stuff, so who knew? We were married, and apparently now that [Rob] is getting married for real, his lawyer dug up something.
Janeane Garofalo
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Sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship.
Janeane Garofalo
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If you don't do any self-examinations or see a doctor ever, you'll live forever. That's how you do it. The diagnosis is what gets you. You just have a don't ask, don't tell policy with any and all bodily functions.
Janeane Garofalo
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Every year my family would pile into the car for our vacation and drive 80 trillion miles just to prove we couldn't get along in any setting.
Janeane Garofalo
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He [God] just seems so man-made to me. There are so many theories, and not everyone can be right. It's human nature to need a religious crutch, and I don't begrudge anyone that. I just don't need one.
Janeane Garofalo
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I would tell the Democrats in Washington who are trying to be civil with the bipartisanship to please stop and let the joker die once and for all, let the agents of chaos hit the pavement, stop picking them up.
Janeane Garofalo
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If you aren't overly effusive or really nicey-nice with the press, you get a reputation for being outspoken or difficult.
Janeane Garofalo
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Without liberals we wouldn't have unions. We wouldn't have environmental protections. We wouldn't have seat belts or birth control or the ACLU! Any of these things!
Janeane Garofalo
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Red flag of the eating disorder: the muffin. Keep your eye on the ladies with the muffins... and sometimes I'll just eat the muffin top.
Janeane Garofalo
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I wound up getting a lot of other opportunities in the nineties, and then sort of as quickly as it started, it just as quickly ended around 2001. And so yeah, I'd love to continue acting but it's just not up to me.
Janeane Garofalo
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I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.
Janeane Garofalo
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Let's be very honest about what this is about. It's not about bashing Democrats, it's not about taxes, they have no idea what the Boston tea party was about, they don't know their history at all. This is about hating a black man in the White House. This is racism straight up.
Janeane Garofalo
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Last night, I went to a birthday party, and this girl brought a cake and a cheesecake. And the other girls that lived in the apartment, I swear to God, all night long: 'You're taking that cake with you when you go. That cake's not staying in this house.' Like it's this evil, Hope Diamond, nuclear, horrifying cursed thing.
Janeane Garofalo