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As you can tell from watching the show, I'm not a strong joke writer per se.

Janeane Garofalo

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Janeane Garofalo
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 28
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Political Activist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Newton
New Jersey
Janeane Marie Garofalo
Show
Strong
Tell
Shows
Joke
Jokes
Watching
Writer

More quotes by Janeane Garofalo

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There's no reason to be doing comedy during the day in a hot tent. I don't know why anyone thinks it's a good idea, but festival after festival keeps doing it. I did see some of the other comedians struggling.
Janeane Garofalo
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Is being an idiot like being high all the time?
Janeane Garofalo
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So, apparently, if you are a pre-sentient mass of cells, this country will protect you and your rights to the n-th degree. If you have made the mistake of becoming an Iraqi citizen, apparently we can just drop bombs on you with impunity.
Janeane Garofalo
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I was just utterly oblivious to how difficult it was, and how difficult it was going to be, and then also in the mid-eighties through the mid-nineties there was a boom of sorts. So there were plenty of stages. If I had started now, there would be very few places to get better and better.
Janeane Garofalo
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We got married drunk in Vegas . . . We dated for a year, and we got married at a drive-through chapel in a cab. [We thought] you have to go down to the courthouse and sign papers and stuff, so who knew? We were married, and apparently now that [Rob] is getting married for real, his lawyer dug up something.
Janeane Garofalo
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I make jewelry occasionally. I'm not a hobbyist. I'm a reader, I'm a lover of books, I like to watch movies, but mostly a lot of nothing. I'm quite content doing very little.
Janeane Garofalo
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Iraq is a manufactured conflict for the sake of geopolitical dominance in the area.
Janeane Garofalo
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I don't really have funny things to say about politics. I wish I did, but I don't.
Janeane Garofalo
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If you don't do any self-examinations or see a doctor ever, you'll live forever. That's how you do it. The diagnosis is what gets you. You just have a don't ask, don't tell policy with any and all bodily functions.
Janeane Garofalo
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My dream would be to be on a show that shoots in New York, because I live here, and then I could walk to work.
Janeane Garofalo
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Like I said, I'm just grateful when anyone offers me a job. It's like, Okay. I'll do it. FBI agent is one, too, when you get older. When you're kind of an older lady hard-ass, FBI tends to happen. It's just because I'd like to work rather than not work, so I'm just happy if somebody wants me to do anything.
Janeane Garofalo
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Red flag of the eating disorder: the muffin. Keep your eye on the ladies with the muffins... and sometimes I'll just eat the muffin top.
Janeane Garofalo
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I think we all remember where we were when Rush Hour hit the water. That was an important day.
Janeane Garofalo
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When I see guys in bars wearing the real fitted kind of Calvin Klein v-neck t-shirts I just want to go up to them and be like, 'Oh, do you work out? Your tricep looks so great - thank you.'
Janeane Garofalo
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A war is going to destroy our economy even further. It's going to be a threefold humanitarian disaster.
Janeane Garofalo
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I feel like the American people are being lied to and manipulated. President Bush is trying to force 9/11 and Saddam together.
Janeane Garofalo
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I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.
Janeane Garofalo
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Without liberals we wouldn't have unions. We wouldn't have environmental protections. We wouldn't have seat belts or birth control or the ACLU! Any of these things!
Janeane Garofalo
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I'm not religious anymore, but I think it's like papal infallibility, which is a ridiculous man-made tenet, like what I believe most religious tenets to be, are man-made after the fact.
Janeane Garofalo
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If you aren't overly effusive or really nicey-nice with the press, you get a reputation for being outspoken or difficult.
Janeane Garofalo