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Nothing translates worse than comedy into the printed word.
Janeane Garofalo
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Janeane Garofalo
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 28
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Political Activist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Newton
New Jersey
Janeane Marie Garofalo
Translate
Worse
Comedy
Word
Nothing
Translates
Printed
More quotes by Janeane Garofalo
The Bible, I've said it before, is a beautifully written work of fiction.
Janeane Garofalo
Anybody who French bashes just might as well wear a badge that says 'I am a follower! I don't think for myself and I have no idea what I'm talking about.' That would be a French basher.
Janeane Garofalo
You know what is good about these Dixie Chicks burnings or bashings? It's a wonderful, wonderful way for really stupid people to hook up. They meet, they throw some things on the fire, they talk about Vin Diesel, they tell stories about who their favorite Fox anchor is, they exchange phone numbers and in some cases has led to marriages.
Janeane Garofalo
Is being an idiot like being high all the time?
Janeane Garofalo
I absolutely realize that a celebrity spokesperson is not ideal.
Janeane Garofalo
I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half-empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.
Janeane Garofalo
I was just utterly oblivious to how difficult it was, and how difficult it was going to be, and then also in the mid-eighties through the mid-nineties there was a boom of sorts. So there were plenty of stages. If I had started now, there would be very few places to get better and better.
Janeane Garofalo
Listen, young people, I understand narcissism - clearly. But at least I have the decency to hate myself. And that's what's missing from the young people. They don't have the debilitating self-loathing and the second guessing.
Janeane Garofalo
There's been times when I have actually had sex indoors. And then you kind of sober up a little when it's over. I become like a bartender at 2 AM. OK, people, let's move it out! Yeah, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.
Janeane Garofalo
I would tell the Democrats in Washington who are trying to be civil with the bipartisanship to please stop and let the joker die once and for all, let the agents of chaos hit the pavement, stop picking them up.
Janeane Garofalo
I don't know who you're referring to exactly who said, 'What has Iraq done to us?'
Janeane Garofalo
This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy.
Janeane Garofalo
Without liberals we wouldn't have unions. We wouldn't have environmental protections. We wouldn't have seat belts or birth control or the ACLU! Any of these things!
Janeane Garofalo
Let's be very honest about what this is about. It's not about bashing Democrats, it's not about taxes, they have no idea what the Boston tea party was about, they don't know their history at all. This is about hating a black man in the White House. This is racism straight up.
Janeane Garofalo
Men are allowed to age. Men are allowed to gain weight. Men are allowed to be quirky looking.
Janeane Garofalo
I guess when your heart gets broken, you sort of start to see the cracks in everything.
Janeane Garofalo
I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.
Janeane Garofalo
Historically the mainstream media has never been particularly friendly to any socially progressive ideas.
Janeane Garofalo
Boy, does that give you street cred for years after, if you tell people you were on 'The Larry Sanders Show!'
Janeane Garofalo
It is just as painful to me when I do poorly. If the fault is all mine, that's what's painful. If it's a situation where no one could have succeeded, I don't feel as bad.
Janeane Garofalo
