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I'm sorry for being me. I won't ever do it again.

Janeane Garofalo

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Janeane Garofalo
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 28
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Political Activist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Newton
New Jersey
Janeane Marie Garofalo
Sorry
Ever

More quotes by Janeane Garofalo

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Blood may be thicker than water, but it is still sticky, unpleasant and generally nauseating.
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You know, I've had Botox. The woman who does it is very good, obviously. Very conservative.
Janeane Garofalo
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Well I don't know what the city of Hollywood knows about foreign policy, but do I know that a lot of people do learn and educate themselves about policy and I don't have to be a policy expert to know that this will be a disaster.
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The Bible, I've said it before, is a beautifully written work of fiction.
Janeane Garofalo
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Here's what the right-wing has in, there's no shortage of the natural resources of ignorance, apathy, hate, fear. As long as those things are in the collective conscious and unconscious, the Republicans will have some votes.
Janeane Garofalo
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I'm a walker. I enjoy walking, which I think psychologically expresses my feelings of wanting liberation without exerting myself too much.
Janeane Garofalo
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To a right-winger, unions are awful. Why do right-wingers hate unions? Because collective bargaining is the power that a worker has against the corporation. Right-wingers hate that.
Janeane Garofalo
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It is just as painful to me when I do poorly. If the fault is all mine, that's what's painful. If it's a situation where no one could have succeeded, I don't feel as bad.
Janeane Garofalo
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You have to have a lot more dedication to what I'll call 'the machine,' ... I have 20 percent dedication. What's needed is 110 percent. You can't have it with the level of apathy I have.
Janeane Garofalo
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I don't really have funny things to say about politics. I wish I did, but I don't.
Janeane Garofalo
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Granted, not really a joke, but how often do you get a mic in your hand? You know? So. I am sorry but don't anybody trip on my soap box on the way out. Don't anybody trip over that. And the chip on my shoulder's a little heavy. I have back problems now.
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How is it that this debate has been twisted on its head, that somehow those that advocate peace and diplomacy are anti-American?
Janeane Garofalo
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Listening to your tape, I was reminded of this poem. It has the central question: Is it harder to count on someone or to know that you're being the one counted upon? Anyway, there's this part that goes: if equal affection cannot be, then let the more loving one be me. Have you ever read that one? It's one of my favorites.
Janeane Garofalo
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You know what is good about these Dixie Chicks burnings or bashings? It's a wonderful, wonderful way for really stupid people to hook up. They meet, they throw some things on the fire, they talk about Vin Diesel, they tell stories about who their favorite Fox anchor is, they exchange phone numbers and in some cases has led to marriages.
Janeane Garofalo
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I feel like the American people are being lied to and manipulated. President Bush is trying to force 9/11 and Saddam together.
Janeane Garofalo
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Last night, I went to a birthday party, and this girl brought a cake and a cheesecake. And the other girls that lived in the apartment, I swear to God, all night long: 'You're taking that cake with you when you go. That cake's not staying in this house.' Like it's this evil, Hope Diamond, nuclear, horrifying cursed thing.
Janeane Garofalo
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I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.
Janeane Garofalo
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Leaving your ears open to the suggestions of others only closes the mind's eye, thereby creating a type of spiritual glaucoma.
Janeane Garofalo
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Silence does not equal patriotism. Obedience is not the American way.
Janeane Garofalo
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If you aren't overly effusive or really nicey-nice with the press, you get a reputation for being outspoken or difficult.
Janeane Garofalo