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The Bible, I've said it before, is a beautifully written work of fiction.
Janeane Garofalo
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Janeane Garofalo
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 28
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Political Activist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Newton
New Jersey
Janeane Marie Garofalo
Beautifully
Bible
Fiction
Written
Work
More quotes by Janeane Garofalo
Blood may be thicker than water, but it is still sticky, unpleasant and generally nauseating.
Janeane Garofalo
Men are allowed to age. Men are allowed to gain weight. Men are allowed to be quirky looking.
Janeane Garofalo
I was terrified of being on television - and also I overcompensated, I'm sure, because I know I did this in my personal life too at the time, when I was younger.
Janeane Garofalo
To me, there is no greater act of courage than being the one who kisses first.
Janeane Garofalo
I would prefer to be well-liked in any and all situations.
Janeane Garofalo
I don't really have funny things to say about politics. I wish I did, but I don't.
Janeane Garofalo
I'm not a big fan of the comics competing against each other.
Janeane Garofalo
I hate high fashion. I hate that we reward people for being genetic freaks. You hear the guys announcing the runway shows saying, 'A pretty face is your best asset this season.' And what? Ugly girls had a free ride last year?
Janeane Garofalo
When I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.'
Janeane Garofalo
I'm sorry for being me. I won't ever do it again.
Janeane Garofalo
Every year my family would pile into the car for our vacation and drive 80 trillion miles just to prove we couldn't get along in any setting.
Janeane Garofalo
You know, I've had Botox. The woman who does it is very good, obviously. Very conservative.
Janeane Garofalo
We got married drunk in Vegas . . . We dated for a year, and we got married at a drive-through chapel in a cab. [We thought] you have to go down to the courthouse and sign papers and stuff, so who knew? We were married, and apparently now that [Rob] is getting married for real, his lawyer dug up something.
Janeane Garofalo
It's been hard in entertainment as a 45-year-old woman to find jobs. They get fewer and far between if you're older, unless you're one of the few lucky ones who work constantly, like Meryl Streep.
Janeane Garofalo
There is no way any rational, reasonable person can say that the Bush Administration has been good for America.
Janeane Garofalo
Tina Fey is part of a generation of women who have changed the face of comedy at 'Second City,' 'SNL,' in sitcoms and in film.
Janeane Garofalo
I guess when your heart gets broken, you sort of start to see the cracks in everything.
Janeane Garofalo
You can tell a lot about a person by how excited they are to do the Macarena.
Janeane Garofalo
He [God] just seems so man-made to me. There are so many theories, and not everyone can be right. It's human nature to need a religious crutch, and I don't begrudge anyone that. I just don't need one.
Janeane Garofalo
If you don't do any self-examinations or see a doctor ever, you'll live forever. That's how you do it. The diagnosis is what gets you. You just have a don't ask, don't tell policy with any and all bodily functions.
Janeane Garofalo
