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I got mugged. And they got my knapsack with my comedy notebook in it. So if anybody see two cholos bombing at the Funny Bone chain, that would be them. Just give me a jingle.
Janeane Garofalo
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Janeane Garofalo
Age: 59
Born: 1964
Born: September 28
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Political Activist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Newton
New Jersey
Janeane Marie Garofalo
Two
Notebook
Give
Bone
Giving
Chain
Would
Chains
Knapsack
Bones
Mugged
Anybody
Jingle
Comedy
Jingles
Funny
Bombing
More quotes by Janeane Garofalo
The Bible, I've said it before, is a beautifully written work of fiction.
Janeane Garofalo
Listen, young people, I understand narcissism - clearly. But at least I have the decency to hate myself. And that's what's missing from the young people. They don't have the debilitating self-loathing and the second guessing.
Janeane Garofalo
Boy, does that give you street cred for years after, if you tell people you were on 'The Larry Sanders Show!'
Janeane Garofalo
Also, as I've gotten older and more mature, I've become much more comfortable in my own skin. After 25 years of doing stand-up, that's reflected onstage.
Janeane Garofalo
Historically the mainstream media has never been particularly friendly to any socially progressive ideas.
Janeane Garofalo
Nothing translates worse than comedy into the printed word.
Janeane Garofalo
I'm a walker. I enjoy walking, which I think psychologically expresses my feelings of wanting liberation without exerting myself too much.
Janeane Garofalo
I wound up getting a lot of other opportunities in the nineties, and then sort of as quickly as it started, it just as quickly ended around 2001. And so yeah, I'd love to continue acting but it's just not up to me.
Janeane Garofalo
Without liberals we wouldn't have unions. We wouldn't have environmental protections. We wouldn't have seat belts or birth control or the ACLU! Any of these things!
Janeane Garofalo
A war is going to destroy our economy even further. It's going to be a threefold humanitarian disaster.
Janeane Garofalo
I don't really have funny things to say about politics. I wish I did, but I don't.
Janeane Garofalo
Anthony Weiner deserves to be supported and hopefully he will be mayor of New York one day. I'm serious. He is a Democrat [who] actually fights for the things liberals and progressive and rational people care about. I don't know why he's being thrown under the bus. He hasn't done any - he hasn't broke any laws.
Janeane Garofalo
I'm not religious anymore, but I think it's like papal infallibility, which is a ridiculous man-made tenet, like what I believe most religious tenets to be, are man-made after the fact.
Janeane Garofalo
I hate high fashion. I hate that we reward people for being genetic freaks. You hear the guys announcing the runway shows saying, 'A pretty face is your best asset this season.' And what? Ugly girls had a free ride last year?
Janeane Garofalo
To combat social awkwardness, I would just act like I couldn't be bothered - that kind of aloof persona or aloof demeanor. It's so off-putting.
Janeane Garofalo
All roads lead to my dogs, don't they?
Janeane Garofalo
I don't know who you're referring to exactly who said, 'What has Iraq done to us?'
Janeane Garofalo
We got married drunk in Vegas . . . We dated for a year, and we got married at a drive-through chapel in a cab. [We thought] you have to go down to the courthouse and sign papers and stuff, so who knew? We were married, and apparently now that [Rob] is getting married for real, his lawyer dug up something.
Janeane Garofalo
Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back.
Janeane Garofalo
It is not crazy to think that powerful people do some pretty horrible things. And maybe they get out of hand. Maybe it just gets away from them. It snowballs.
Janeane Garofalo