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Last night, I went to a birthday party, and this girl brought a cake and a cheesecake. And the other girls that lived in the apartment, I swear to God, all night long: 'You're taking that cake with you when you go. That cake's not staying in this house.' Like it's this evil, Hope Diamond, nuclear, horrifying cursed thing.

Janeane Garofalo

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Janeane Garofalo
Age: 59
Born: 1964
Born: September 28
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Political Activist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Newton
New Jersey
Janeane Marie Garofalo
Like
Last
Nuclear
Horrifying
Evil
Brought
Cursed
Hope
Girls
Diamond
Girl
Lived
Apartment
House
Taking
Swear
Night
Went
Cake
Thing
Party
Birthday
Long
Lasts
Staying
Cheesecake

More quotes by Janeane Garofalo

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Historically the mainstream media has never been particularly friendly to any socially progressive ideas.
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I was thrilled to work opposite Carl Reiner and Robert De Niro. Mr. Reiner was very chatty and delightful, but I learned that if you want Robert De Niro to like you, don't speak at all, and he'll be friendly to you.
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As you can tell from watching the show, I'm not a strong joke writer per se.
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To me, there is no greater act of courage than being the one who kisses first.
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When I see guys in bars wearing the real fitted kind of Calvin Klein v-neck t-shirts I just want to go up to them and be like, 'Oh, do you work out? Your tricep looks so great - thank you.'
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You have to have a lot more dedication to what I'll call 'the machine,' ... I have 20 percent dedication. What's needed is 110 percent. You can't have it with the level of apathy I have.
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Listening to your tape, I was reminded of this poem. It has the central question: Is it harder to count on someone or to know that you're being the one counted upon? Anyway, there's this part that goes: if equal affection cannot be, then let the more loving one be me. Have you ever read that one? It's one of my favorites.
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It's been hard in entertainment as a 45-year-old woman to find jobs. They get fewer and far between if you're older, unless you're one of the few lucky ones who work constantly, like Meryl Streep.
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I don't hate myself, as a general rule. I'd say the best way to describe it is that I have moments of self-loathing at fairly regular intervals.
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As actors, it is our responsibility to read the newspapers, and then say what we read on television like it's our own opinion.
Janeane Garofalo
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I don't really have funny things to say about politics. I wish I did, but I don't.
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I guess intractable right-wing ideologues are my mortal enemy.
Janeane Garofalo
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Without liberals we wouldn't have unions. We wouldn't have environmental protections. We wouldn't have seat belts or birth control or the ACLU! Any of these things!
Janeane Garofalo
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There is no way any rational, reasonable person can say that the Bush Administration has been good for America.
Janeane Garofalo
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I was terrified of being on television - and also I overcompensated, I'm sure, because I know I did this in my personal life too at the time, when I was younger.
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Sometimes the critics review me harshly for not being critical of government but it's not me who has said I was political.
Janeane Garofalo
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Also, as I've gotten older and more mature, I've become much more comfortable in my own skin. After 25 years of doing stand-up, that's reflected onstage.
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Every year my family would pile into the car for our vacation and drive 80 trillion miles just to prove we couldn't get along in any setting.
Janeane Garofalo
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I guess when your heart gets broken, you sort of start to see the cracks in everything.
Janeane Garofalo
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There's no reason to be doing comedy during the day in a hot tent. I don't know why anyone thinks it's a good idea, but festival after festival keeps doing it. I did see some of the other comedians struggling.
Janeane Garofalo