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He [God] just seems so man-made to me. There are so many theories, and not everyone can be right. It's human nature to need a religious crutch, and I don't begrudge anyone that. I just don't need one.
Janeane Garofalo
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Janeane Garofalo
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 28
Actor
Comedian
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Political Activist
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Screenwriter
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Newton
New Jersey
Janeane Marie Garofalo
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More quotes by Janeane Garofalo
Blood may be thicker than water, but it is still sticky, unpleasant and generally nauseating.
Janeane Garofalo
I guess intractable right-wing ideologues are my mortal enemy.
Janeane Garofalo
You know, I have no web presence, and I don't know that there's many people who really do know me that much anymore.
Janeane Garofalo
I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half-empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.
Janeane Garofalo
Without liberals we wouldn't have unions. We wouldn't have environmental protections. We wouldn't have seat belts or birth control or the ACLU! Any of these things!
Janeane Garofalo
Pedestrian's rights - because we live in California, I've got to address this issue. I don't know where on the fence I am about that. I suppose if I'm walking, I'm all for it, but if I'm driving, that's a whole other can of worms.
Janeane Garofalo
I guess when your heart gets broken, you sort of start to see the cracks in everything.
Janeane Garofalo
If you don't do any self-examinations or see a doctor ever, you'll live forever. That's how you do it. The diagnosis is what gets you. You just have a don't ask, don't tell policy with any and all bodily functions.
Janeane Garofalo
The Bible, I've said it before, is a beautifully written work of fiction.
Janeane Garofalo
I'm not religious anymore, but I think it's like papal infallibility, which is a ridiculous man-made tenet, like what I believe most religious tenets to be, are man-made after the fact.
Janeane Garofalo
There's been times when I have actually had sex indoors. And then you kind of sober up a little when it's over. I become like a bartender at 2 AM. OK, people, let's move it out! Yeah, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.
Janeane Garofalo
I got mugged. And they got my knapsack with my comedy notebook in it. So if anybody see two cholos bombing at the Funny Bone chain, that would be them. Just give me a jingle.
Janeane Garofalo
I don't have a good work ethic. I have a real casual relationship with hours.
Janeane Garofalo
I'm sorry for being me. I won't ever do it again.
Janeane Garofalo
I absolutely realize that a celebrity spokesperson is not ideal.
Janeane Garofalo
Tina Fey is part of a generation of women who have changed the face of comedy at 'Second City,' 'SNL,' in sitcoms and in film.
Janeane Garofalo
As actors, it is our responsibility to read the newspapers, and then say what we read on television like it's our own opinion.
Janeane Garofalo
I'm almost 46. You become no longer even regarded in a sexual way. As you get older you're just taken out of that realm. So it's not anything that particularly confronts me very much at all.
Janeane Garofalo
Granted, not really a joke, but how often do you get a mic in your hand? You know? So. I am sorry but don't anybody trip on my soap box on the way out. Don't anybody trip over that. And the chip on my shoulder's a little heavy. I have back problems now.
Janeane Garofalo
I'm a walker. I enjoy walking, which I think psychologically expresses my feelings of wanting liberation without exerting myself too much.
Janeane Garofalo
