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Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back.
Janeane Garofalo
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Janeane Garofalo
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 28
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Political Activist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Newton
New Jersey
Janeane Marie Garofalo
Back
Phones
Drunk
Message
Machines
Messages
Answering
Advice
Sage
Stay
Phone
Away
Machine
More quotes by Janeane Garofalo
The teabagger thing and the right-wing thing - they pick easy targets, and a female in the entertainment industry is low-hanging fruit. It's very easy to mock and marginalize people in general who are in the entertainment industry, for some reason. But then definitely there's the double standard and the misogyny that goes through it as well.
Janeane Garofalo
The handful of corporations that own most of the media outlets have an interest in reflecting establishment views.
Janeane Garofalo
Listening to your tape, I was reminded of this poem. It has the central question: Is it harder to count on someone or to know that you're being the one counted upon? Anyway, there's this part that goes: if equal affection cannot be, then let the more loving one be me. Have you ever read that one? It's one of my favorites.
Janeane Garofalo
I got mugged. And they got my knapsack with my comedy notebook in it. So if anybody see two cholos bombing at the Funny Bone chain, that would be them. Just give me a jingle.
Janeane Garofalo
Iraq is a manufactured conflict for the sake of geopolitical dominance in the area.
Janeane Garofalo
I'm a walker. I enjoy walking, which I think psychologically expresses my feelings of wanting liberation without exerting myself too much.
Janeane Garofalo
... being a feminist means that you believe in civil rights and social justice.
Janeane Garofalo
I'm almost 46. You become no longer even regarded in a sexual way. As you get older you're just taken out of that realm. So it's not anything that particularly confronts me very much at all.
Janeane Garofalo
Sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship.
Janeane Garofalo
I hate high fashion. I hate that we reward people for being genetic freaks. You hear the guys announcing the runway shows saying, 'A pretty face is your best asset this season.' And what? Ugly girls had a free ride last year?
Janeane Garofalo
Anthony Weiner deserves to be supported and hopefully he will be mayor of New York one day. I'm serious. He is a Democrat [who] actually fights for the things liberals and progressive and rational people care about. I don't know why he's being thrown under the bus. He hasn't done any - he hasn't broke any laws.
Janeane Garofalo
To combat social awkwardness, I would just act like I couldn't be bothered - that kind of aloof persona or aloof demeanor. It's so off-putting.
Janeane Garofalo
I'm not a big fan of the comics competing against each other.
Janeane Garofalo
I'm not religious anymore, but I think it's like papal infallibility, which is a ridiculous man-made tenet, like what I believe most religious tenets to be, are man-made after the fact.
Janeane Garofalo
I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.
Janeane Garofalo
You know, I've had Botox. The woman who does it is very good, obviously. Very conservative.
Janeane Garofalo
If you don't do any self-examinations or see a doctor ever, you'll live forever. That's how you do it. The diagnosis is what gets you. You just have a don't ask, don't tell policy with any and all bodily functions.
Janeane Garofalo
Here's what the right-wing has in, there's no shortage of the natural resources of ignorance, apathy, hate, fear. As long as those things are in the collective conscious and unconscious, the Republicans will have some votes.
Janeane Garofalo
There's nothing wrong with the word conspiracy. It just means 'to breathe together.'
Janeane Garofalo
I can do most anything and not have a problem with it. The only time I have negative attention is when I run naked through the streets brandishing a handgun.
Janeane Garofalo
