Quote

Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back.

Janeane Garofalo

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Janeane Garofalo
Age: 59
Born: 1964
Born: September 28
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Political Activist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Newton
New Jersey
Janeane Marie Garofalo
Message
Machines
Messages
Answering
Advice
Sage
Stay
Phone
Away
Machine
Back
Phones
Drunk

More quotes by Janeane Garofalo

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How is it that this debate has been twisted on its head, that somehow those that advocate peace and diplomacy are anti-American?
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This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy.
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Anybody who French bashes just might as well wear a badge that says 'I am a follower! I don't think for myself and I have no idea what I'm talking about.' That would be a French basher.
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Well I don't know what the city of Hollywood knows about foreign policy, but do I know that a lot of people do learn and educate themselves about policy and I don't have to be a policy expert to know that this will be a disaster.
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The teabagger thing and the right-wing thing - they pick easy targets, and a female in the entertainment industry is low-hanging fruit. It's very easy to mock and marginalize people in general who are in the entertainment industry, for some reason. But then definitely there's the double standard and the misogyny that goes through it as well.
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The Bible, I've said it before, is a beautifully written work of fiction.
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When I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.'
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I guess intractable right-wing ideologues are my mortal enemy.
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Iraq is a manufactured conflict for the sake of geopolitical dominance in the area.
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Men are allowed to age. Men are allowed to gain weight. Men are allowed to be quirky looking.
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So, apparently, if you are a pre-sentient mass of cells, this country will protect you and your rights to the n-th degree. If you have made the mistake of becoming an Iraqi citizen, apparently we can just drop bombs on you with impunity.
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I don't even know why somebody's Twittering as me. I don't understand it, and I wish that it would stop. But there's nothing that can be done. It's so terrible.
Janeane Garofalo
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I'm not a big fan of the comics competing against each other.
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The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When Communist USSR was a superpower, the world was better off.
Janeane Garofalo
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Let's be very honest about what this is about. It's not about bashing Democrats, it's not about taxes, they have no idea what the Boston tea party was about, they don't know their history at all. This is about hating a black man in the White House. This is racism straight up.
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Sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship.
Janeane Garofalo
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My hell is going to be the stairmaster wing of Dante's inferno, where they're gonna tape my feet to the pedals and the only music I get is Michael Bolton karaoke style.
Janeane Garofalo
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Red flag of the eating disorder: the muffin. Keep your eye on the ladies with the muffins... and sometimes I'll just eat the muffin top.
Janeane Garofalo
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Boy, does that give you street cred for years after, if you tell people you were on 'The Larry Sanders Show!'
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I was just utterly oblivious to how difficult it was, and how difficult it was going to be, and then also in the mid-eighties through the mid-nineties there was a boom of sorts. So there were plenty of stages. If I had started now, there would be very few places to get better and better.
Janeane Garofalo