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Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back.
Janeane Garofalo
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Janeane Garofalo
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 28
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Political Activist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Newton
New Jersey
Janeane Marie Garofalo
Message
Machines
Messages
Answering
Advice
Sage
Stay
Phone
Away
Machine
Back
Phones
Drunk
More quotes by Janeane Garofalo
You have to have a lot more dedication to what I'll call 'the machine,' ... I have 20 percent dedication. What's needed is 110 percent. You can't have it with the level of apathy I have.
Janeane Garofalo
I don't hate myself, as a general rule. I'd say the best way to describe it is that I have moments of self-loathing at fairly regular intervals.
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For some reason I get advertised when I travel as a political comedian, which I'm not. Sometimes I talk about it and sometimes I don't.
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I was terrified of being on television - and also I overcompensated, I'm sure, because I know I did this in my personal life too at the time, when I was younger.
Janeane Garofalo
I would have to say loneliness is next to uncleanliness.
Janeane Garofalo
Men are allowed to age. Men are allowed to gain weight. Men are allowed to be quirky looking.
Janeane Garofalo
There's nothing wrong with the word conspiracy. It just means 'to breathe together.'
Janeane Garofalo
It is just as painful to me when I do poorly. If the fault is all mine, that's what's painful. If it's a situation where no one could have succeeded, I don't feel as bad.
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Blood may be thicker than water, but it is still sticky, unpleasant and generally nauseating.
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I'm not a disciplined writer.
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We're our own worst enemies a lot of the time, but I still blame men.
Janeane Garofalo
Is being an idiot like being high all the time?
Janeane Garofalo
Without liberals we wouldn't have unions. We wouldn't have environmental protections. We wouldn't have seat belts or birth control or the ACLU! Any of these things!
Janeane Garofalo
Anthony Weiner deserves to be supported and hopefully he will be mayor of New York one day. I'm serious. He is a Democrat [who] actually fights for the things liberals and progressive and rational people care about. I don't know why he's being thrown under the bus. He hasn't done any - he hasn't broke any laws.
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When I see guys in bars wearing the real fitted kind of Calvin Klein v-neck t-shirts I just want to go up to them and be like, 'Oh, do you work out? Your tricep looks so great - thank you.'
Janeane Garofalo
Silence does not equal patriotism. Obedience is not the American way.
Janeane Garofalo
I'm not a big fan of the comics competing against each other.
Janeane Garofalo
I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.
Janeane Garofalo
I don't have a good work ethic. I have a real casual relationship with hours.
Janeane Garofalo
You young people with your twittering and your creating of content. Or what is it - queefing? I don't know what you young people are calling it.
Janeane Garofalo
