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Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back.
Janeane Garofalo
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Janeane Garofalo
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 28
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Political Activist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Newton
New Jersey
Janeane Marie Garofalo
Advice
Sage
Stay
Phone
Away
Machine
Back
Phones
Drunk
Message
Machines
Messages
Answering
More quotes by Janeane Garofalo
Also, as I've gotten older and more mature, I've become much more comfortable in my own skin. After 25 years of doing stand-up, that's reflected onstage.
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We're our own worst enemies a lot of the time, but I still blame men.
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I'm a walker. I enjoy walking, which I think psychologically expresses my feelings of wanting liberation without exerting myself too much.
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I wound up getting a lot of other opportunities in the nineties, and then sort of as quickly as it started, it just as quickly ended around 2001. And so yeah, I'd love to continue acting but it's just not up to me.
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Let's be very honest about what this is about. It's not about bashing Democrats, it's not about taxes, they have no idea what the Boston tea party was about, they don't know their history at all. This is about hating a black man in the White House. This is racism straight up.
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There's been times when I have actually had sex indoors. And then you kind of sober up a little when it's over. I become like a bartender at 2 AM. OK, people, let's move it out! Yeah, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.
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Blood may be thicker than water, but it is still sticky, unpleasant and generally nauseating.
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To a right-winger, unions are awful. Why do right-wingers hate unions? Because collective bargaining is the power that a worker has against the corporation. Right-wingers hate that.
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You know, I've had Botox. The woman who does it is very good, obviously. Very conservative.
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I would prefer to be well-liked in any and all situations.
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Sometimes the critics review me harshly for not being critical of government but it's not me who has said I was political.
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I feel like the American people are being lied to and manipulated. President Bush is trying to force 9/11 and Saddam together.
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Tina Fey is part of a generation of women who have changed the face of comedy at 'Second City,' 'SNL,' in sitcoms and in film.
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Without liberals we wouldn't have unions. We wouldn't have environmental protections. We wouldn't have seat belts or birth control or the ACLU! Any of these things!
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The Bible, I've said it before, is a beautifully written work of fiction.
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You know, I have no web presence, and I don't know that there's many people who really do know me that much anymore.
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Nothing translates worse than comedy into the printed word.
Janeane Garofalo
Listening to your tape, I was reminded of this poem. It has the central question: Is it harder to count on someone or to know that you're being the one counted upon? Anyway, there's this part that goes: if equal affection cannot be, then let the more loving one be me. Have you ever read that one? It's one of my favorites.
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I'm not a big fan of the comics competing against each other.
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If you don't do any self-examinations or see a doctor ever, you'll live forever. That's how you do it. The diagnosis is what gets you. You just have a don't ask, don't tell policy with any and all bodily functions.
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