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You know, I've had Botox. The woman who does it is very good, obviously. Very conservative.
Janeane Garofalo
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Janeane Garofalo
Age: 59
Born: 1964
Born: September 28
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Political Activist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Newton
New Jersey
Janeane Marie Garofalo
Good
Obviously
Conservative
Woman
Doe
More quotes by Janeane Garofalo
I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half-empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.
Janeane Garofalo
This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy.
Janeane Garofalo
Last night, I went to a birthday party, and this girl brought a cake and a cheesecake. And the other girls that lived in the apartment, I swear to God, all night long: 'You're taking that cake with you when you go. That cake's not staying in this house.' Like it's this evil, Hope Diamond, nuclear, horrifying cursed thing.
Janeane Garofalo
All roads lead to my dogs, don't they?
Janeane Garofalo
A war is going to destroy our economy even further. It's going to be a threefold humanitarian disaster.
Janeane Garofalo
Anybody who French bashes just might as well wear a badge that says 'I am a follower! I don't think for myself and I have no idea what I'm talking about.' That would be a French basher.
Janeane Garofalo
There's been times when I have actually had sex indoors. And then you kind of sober up a little when it's over. I become like a bartender at 2 AM. OK, people, let's move it out! Yeah, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.
Janeane Garofalo
I was just utterly oblivious to how difficult it was, and how difficult it was going to be, and then also in the mid-eighties through the mid-nineties there was a boom of sorts. So there were plenty of stages. If I had started now, there would be very few places to get better and better.
Janeane Garofalo
If you don't do any self-examinations or see a doctor ever, you'll live forever. That's how you do it. The diagnosis is what gets you. You just have a don't ask, don't tell policy with any and all bodily functions.
Janeane Garofalo
Well I don't know what the city of Hollywood knows about foreign policy, but do I know that a lot of people do learn and educate themselves about policy and I don't have to be a policy expert to know that this will be a disaster.
Janeane Garofalo
My hell is going to be the stairmaster wing of Dante's inferno, where they're gonna tape my feet to the pedals and the only music I get is Michael Bolton karaoke style.
Janeane Garofalo
Also, as I've gotten older and more mature, I've become much more comfortable in my own skin. After 25 years of doing stand-up, that's reflected onstage.
Janeane Garofalo
I guess intractable right-wing ideologues are my mortal enemy.
Janeane Garofalo
You know, I have no web presence, and I don't know that there's many people who really do know me that much anymore.
Janeane Garofalo
As actors, it is our responsibility to read the newspapers, and then say what we read on television like it's our own opinion.
Janeane Garofalo
It is not crazy to think that powerful people do some pretty horrible things. And maybe they get out of hand. Maybe it just gets away from them. It snowballs.
Janeane Garofalo
Sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship.
Janeane Garofalo
I guess when your heart gets broken, you sort of start to see the cracks in everything.
Janeane Garofalo
Boy, does that give you street cred for years after, if you tell people you were on 'The Larry Sanders Show!'
Janeane Garofalo
I would have to say loneliness is next to uncleanliness.
Janeane Garofalo