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I hate high fashion. I hate that we reward people for being genetic freaks. You hear the guys announcing the runway shows saying, 'A pretty face is your best asset this season.' And what? Ugly girls had a free ride last year?

Janeane Garofalo

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Janeane Garofalo
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 28
Actor
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Newton
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Janeane Marie Garofalo
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More quotes by Janeane Garofalo

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I don't have a good work ethic. I have a real casual relationship with hours.
Janeane Garofalo
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There is no way any rational, reasonable person can say that the Bush Administration has been good for America.
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There's been times when I have actually had sex indoors. And then you kind of sober up a little when it's over. I become like a bartender at 2 AM. OK, people, let's move it out! Yeah, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.
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I don't hate myself, as a general rule. I'd say the best way to describe it is that I have moments of self-loathing at fairly regular intervals.
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Protesting the color of a man's skin is not a worthy protest.
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Listen, young people, I understand narcissism - clearly. But at least I have the decency to hate myself. And that's what's missing from the young people. They don't have the debilitating self-loathing and the second guessing.
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To a right-winger, unions are awful. Why do right-wingers hate unions? Because collective bargaining is the power that a worker has against the corporation. Right-wingers hate that.
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Listening to your tape, I was reminded of this poem. It has the central question: Is it harder to count on someone or to know that you're being the one counted upon? Anyway, there's this part that goes: if equal affection cannot be, then let the more loving one be me. Have you ever read that one? It's one of my favorites.
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We got married drunk in Vegas . . . We dated for a year, and we got married at a drive-through chapel in a cab. [We thought] you have to go down to the courthouse and sign papers and stuff, so who knew? We were married, and apparently now that [Rob] is getting married for real, his lawyer dug up something.
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I guess intractable right-wing ideologues are my mortal enemy.
Janeane Garofalo
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It's been hard in entertainment as a 45-year-old woman to find jobs. They get fewer and far between if you're older, unless you're one of the few lucky ones who work constantly, like Meryl Streep.
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Anthony Weiner deserves to be supported and hopefully he will be mayor of New York one day. I'm serious. He is a Democrat [who] actually fights for the things liberals and progressive and rational people care about. I don't know why he's being thrown under the bus. He hasn't done any - he hasn't broke any laws.
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I don't even know why somebody's Twittering as me. I don't understand it, and I wish that it would stop. But there's nothing that can be done. It's so terrible.
Janeane Garofalo
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You know, I have no web presence, and I don't know that there's many people who really do know me that much anymore.
Janeane Garofalo
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There's nothing wrong with the word conspiracy. It just means 'to breathe together.'
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It is just as painful to me when I do poorly. If the fault is all mine, that's what's painful. If it's a situation where no one could have succeeded, I don't feel as bad.
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Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back.
Janeane Garofalo
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So, apparently, if you are a pre-sentient mass of cells, this country will protect you and your rights to the n-th degree. If you have made the mistake of becoming an Iraqi citizen, apparently we can just drop bombs on you with impunity.
Janeane Garofalo
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Every year my family would pile into the car for our vacation and drive 80 trillion miles just to prove we couldn't get along in any setting.
Janeane Garofalo
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... being a feminist means that you believe in civil rights and social justice.
Janeane Garofalo