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Without liberals we wouldn't have unions. We wouldn't have environmental protections. We wouldn't have seat belts or birth control or the ACLU! Any of these things!

Janeane Garofalo

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Janeane Garofalo
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 28
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Political Activist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Newton
New Jersey
Janeane Marie Garofalo
Environmental
Protections
Birth
Belts
Wouldn
Liberals
Control
Seat
Without
Seats
Things
Progressive
Unions
Protection

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I make jewelry occasionally. I'm not a hobbyist. I'm a reader, I'm a lover of books, I like to watch movies, but mostly a lot of nothing. I'm quite content doing very little.
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It is not crazy to think that powerful people do some pretty horrible things. And maybe they get out of hand. Maybe it just gets away from them. It snowballs.
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There's nothing wrong with the word conspiracy. It just means 'to breathe together.'
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Also, as I've gotten older and more mature, I've become much more comfortable in my own skin. After 25 years of doing stand-up, that's reflected onstage.
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Every year my family would pile into the car for our vacation and drive 80 trillion miles just to prove we couldn't get along in any setting.
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Red flag of the eating disorder: the muffin. Keep your eye on the ladies with the muffins... and sometimes I'll just eat the muffin top.
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Last night, I went to a birthday party, and this girl brought a cake and a cheesecake. And the other girls that lived in the apartment, I swear to God, all night long: 'You're taking that cake with you when you go. That cake's not staying in this house.' Like it's this evil, Hope Diamond, nuclear, horrifying cursed thing.
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You know, I've had Botox. The woman who does it is very good, obviously. Very conservative.
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Men are allowed to age. Men are allowed to gain weight. Men are allowed to be quirky looking.
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There's been times when I have actually had sex indoors. And then you kind of sober up a little when it's over. I become like a bartender at 2 AM. OK, people, let's move it out! Yeah, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.
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Pedestrian's rights - because we live in California, I've got to address this issue. I don't know where on the fence I am about that. I suppose if I'm walking, I'm all for it, but if I'm driving, that's a whole other can of worms.
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This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy.
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You have to have a lot more dedication to what I'll call 'the machine,' ... I have 20 percent dedication. What's needed is 110 percent. You can't have it with the level of apathy I have.
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Historically the mainstream media has never been particularly friendly to any socially progressive ideas.
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The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When Communist USSR was a superpower, the world was better off.
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I guess intractable right-wing ideologues are my mortal enemy.
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I got mugged. And they got my knapsack with my comedy notebook in it. So if anybody see two cholos bombing at the Funny Bone chain, that would be them. Just give me a jingle.
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Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back.
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I don't hate myself, as a general rule. I'd say the best way to describe it is that I have moments of self-loathing at fairly regular intervals.
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I'm not a disciplined writer.
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