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When I see guys in bars wearing the real fitted kind of Calvin Klein v-neck t-shirts I just want to go up to them and be like, 'Oh, do you work out? Your tricep looks so great - thank you.'
Janeane Garofalo
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Janeane Garofalo
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 28
Actor
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Political Activist
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Newton
New Jersey
Janeane Marie Garofalo
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More quotes by Janeane Garofalo
Pedestrian's rights - because we live in California, I've got to address this issue. I don't know where on the fence I am about that. I suppose if I'm walking, I'm all for it, but if I'm driving, that's a whole other can of worms.
Janeane Garofalo
This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy.
Janeane Garofalo
For some reason I get advertised when I travel as a political comedian, which I'm not. Sometimes I talk about it and sometimes I don't.
Janeane Garofalo
It is just as painful to me when I do poorly. If the fault is all mine, that's what's painful. If it's a situation where no one could have succeeded, I don't feel as bad.
Janeane Garofalo
How is it that this debate has been twisted on its head, that somehow those that advocate peace and diplomacy are anti-American?
Janeane Garofalo
There's nothing wrong with the word conspiracy. It just means 'to breathe together.'
Janeane Garofalo
Leaving your ears open to the suggestions of others only closes the mind's eye, thereby creating a type of spiritual glaucoma.
Janeane Garofalo
I was thrilled to work opposite Carl Reiner and Robert De Niro. Mr. Reiner was very chatty and delightful, but I learned that if you want Robert De Niro to like you, don't speak at all, and he'll be friendly to you.
Janeane Garofalo
Red flag of the eating disorder: the muffin. Keep your eye on the ladies with the muffins... and sometimes I'll just eat the muffin top.
Janeane Garofalo
So, apparently, if you are a pre-sentient mass of cells, this country will protect you and your rights to the n-th degree. If you have made the mistake of becoming an Iraqi citizen, apparently we can just drop bombs on you with impunity.
Janeane Garofalo
I don't really have funny things to say about politics. I wish I did, but I don't.
Janeane Garofalo
Anybody who French bashes just might as well wear a badge that says 'I am a follower! I don't think for myself and I have no idea what I'm talking about.' That would be a French basher.
Janeane Garofalo
I'm a walker. I enjoy walking, which I think psychologically expresses my feelings of wanting liberation without exerting myself too much.
Janeane Garofalo
I don't even know why somebody's Twittering as me. I don't understand it, and I wish that it would stop. But there's nothing that can be done. It's so terrible.
Janeane Garofalo
I'm not religious anymore, but I think it's like papal infallibility, which is a ridiculous man-made tenet, like what I believe most religious tenets to be, are man-made after the fact.
Janeane Garofalo
... being a feminist means that you believe in civil rights and social justice.
Janeane Garofalo
My hell is going to be the stairmaster wing of Dante's inferno, where they're gonna tape my feet to the pedals and the only music I get is Michael Bolton karaoke style.
Janeane Garofalo
I was just utterly oblivious to how difficult it was, and how difficult it was going to be, and then also in the mid-eighties through the mid-nineties there was a boom of sorts. So there were plenty of stages. If I had started now, there would be very few places to get better and better.
Janeane Garofalo
A war is going to destroy our economy even further. It's going to be a threefold humanitarian disaster.
Janeane Garofalo
I absolutely realize that a celebrity spokesperson is not ideal.
Janeane Garofalo