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When I first came into this world, Elvis was already fat.
Jane Wagner
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Jane Wagner
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: February 26
Actor
Film Director
Record Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Writer
Morristown
Tennessee
Came
Firsts
First
World
Elvis
Fats
Already
More quotes by Jane Wagner
What you try to bury just ends up burying you.
Jane Wagner
I worry that drugs have forced us to be more creative than we really are.
Jane Wagner
Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.
Jane Wagner
The human mind is kind of like a piñata. When it breaks open, there's a lot of surprises inside. Once you get the piñata perspective, you see that losing your mind can be a peak experience.
Jane Wagner
I am sick of being the victim of trends I reflect but don't even understand.
Jane Wagner
I worry that humanity has been advanced to its present level of incompetency because evolution works on the Peter Principle.
Jane Wagner
I made some studies, and reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. I can take it in small doses, but as a lifestyle, I found it too confining. It was just too needful it expected me to be there for it all the time, and with all I have to do--I had to let something go.
Jane Wagner
Just think: your family are the people most likely to give you the flu.
Jane Wagner
Ahhhhhhhh. There is nothing natural about natural childbirth. It is as close to a freak accident as anything I can think of. Why I picked a time like this to go off drugs?
Jane Wagner
My mom says I have to be more positive, and I say life has to be more positive too or it's just not going to work.
Jane Wagner
If you are a human being, you might as well face it. You are going to rub a lot of people the wrong way.
Jane Wagner
I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have deja vu!
Jane Wagner
Childhood comes at a time in your life when you are too young to understand what you are going through. And you're too young to understand that you are too young to understand.
Jane Wagner
A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?
Jane Wagner
I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you.
Jane Wagner
Unless you are at a picnic, life is no picnic.
Jane Wagner
The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.
Jane Wagner
Sex is such a personal thing - why do we insist on sharing it with another person?
Jane Wagner
Like what's the point being a health nut by day if you're a coke head at night.
Jane Wagner
The truth can be made up if you know how.
Jane Wagner