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When I first came into this world, Elvis was already fat.

Jane Wagner

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Jane Wagner
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: February 26
Actor
Film Director
Record Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Writer
Morristown
Tennessee
First
World
Elvis
Fats
Already
Came
Firsts

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A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?
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Ahhhhhhhh. There is nothing natural about natural childbirth. It is as close to a freak accident as anything I can think of. Why I picked a time like this to go off drugs?
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The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.
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I am sick of being the victim of trends I reflect but don't even understand.
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Unless you are at a picnic, life is no picnic.
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People don't need sex so much as they need to be listened to.
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The human mind is kind of like a piñata. When it breaks open, there's a lot of surprises inside. Once you get the piñata perspective, you see that losing your mind can be a peak experience.
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Reality is just a collective hunch.
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I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have deja vu!
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Like what's the point being a health nut by day if you're a coke head at night.
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Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.
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Childhood comes at a time in your life when you are too young to understand what you are going through. And you're too young to understand that you are too young to understand.
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The truth can be made up if you know how.
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If you are a human being, you might as well face it. You are going to rub a lot of people the wrong way.
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I worry that drugs have forced us to be more creative than we really are.
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One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.
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I worry that humanity has been advanced to its present level of incompetency because evolution works on the Peter Principle.
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Infinity: Time on an ego trip.
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My mom says I have to be more positive, and I say life has to be more positive too or it's just not going to work.
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What you try to bury just ends up burying you.
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