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Muggs was always sorry, Mother said, when he bit someone, but we could never understand how she figured this out. He didn't act sorry.

James Thurber

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James Thurber
Age: 66 †
Born: 1894
Born: December 18
Died: 1961
Died: November 2
Autobiographer
Cartoonist
Drawer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Columbus
Ohio
James Grover Thurber
Always
Figured
Never
Sorry
Dog
Bits
Understand
Mother
Didn
Someone

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Don't get it right, just get it written.
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There are two kinds of light - the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures.
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She wasn't much to look at but she was something to think about.
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I loathe the expression “What makes him tick.” It is the American mind, looking for simple and singular solutions, that uses the foolish expression. A person not only ticks, he also chimes and strikes the hour, falls and breaks and has to be put together again, and sometimes stops like an electric clock in a thunderstorm.
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The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
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There is something about a poet which leads us to believe that he died, in many cases, as long as 20 years before his birth.
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So much has already been written about everything that you can't find out anything about it.
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Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.
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Don't count your boobies until they are hatched.
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I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
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A husband should not insult his wife publicly, at parties. He should insult her in the privacy of the home.
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Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.
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But what is all this fear of and opposition to Oblivion? What is the matter with the soft Darkness, the Dreamless Sleep?
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I always begin at the left with the opening word of the sentence and read toward the right and I recommend this method.
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Let the meek inherit the earth -- they have it coming to them.
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Columbus is a town in which almost anything is likely to happen, and in which almost everything has.
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Somebody has said that woman's place is in the wrong. That's fine. What the wrong needs is a woman's presence and a woman's touch. She is far better equipped than men to set it right.
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The difference between our decadence and the Russians is that while theirs is brutal, ours is apathetic.
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Writers of comedy have outlook, whereas writers of tragedy have, according to them, insight.
James Thurber
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It was Lisa, aged five, whose mother asked her to thank my wife for the peas we had sent them from our garden. 'I thought the peas were awful, I wish you and Mrs. Thurber were dead, and I hate trees,' said Lisa.
James Thurber