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The sanity of the average banquet speaker lasts about two and a half months at the end of that time he begins to mutter to himself, and calls out in his sleep.

James Thurber

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James Thurber
Age: 66 †
Born: 1894
Born: December 18
Died: 1961
Died: November 2
Autobiographer
Cartoonist
Drawer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Columbus
Ohio
James Grover Thurber
Time
Begins
Average
Mutter
Months
Banquet
Sleep
Banquets
Lasts
Speaker
Half
Speakers
Two
Sanity
Ends
Calls

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The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
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I drew pictures rapidly and with few lines, because I had to write most of the pieces, too, and couldn't monkey long with the drawings. The divine urge was no higher than that.
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We all know that the theater and every play that comes to Broadway have within themselves, like the human being, the seed of self-destruction and the certainty of death. The thing is to see how long the theater, the play, and the human being can last in spite of themselves.
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Last night I dreamed of a small consolation enjoyed only by the blind: Nobody knows the trouble I've not seen!
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Let the meek inherit the earth -- they have it coming to them.
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Muggs was always sorry, Mother said, when he bit someone, but we could never understand how she figured this out. He didn't act sorry.
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It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
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Unless artists can remember what it was to be a little boy, they are only half complete as artist and as man.
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I make mistakes, but I am on the side of Good, the Golux said, by accident and happenchance. I had high hopes of being Evil when I was two, but in my youth I came upon a firefly burning in a spider's web. I saved the victim's life. The firefly's ? said the minstrel. The spider's. The blinking arsonist had set the web on fire.
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Somebody has said that woman's place is in the wrong. That's fine. What the wrong needs is a woman's presence and a woman's touch. She is far better equipped than men to set it right.
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Sophistication might be described as the ability to cope gracefully with a situation involving the presence of a formidable menace to one's poise and prestige (such as the butler, or the man under the bed - but never the husband).
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There is no exception to the rule that every rule has an exception.
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The wit makes fun of other persons the satirist makes fun of the world the humorist makes fun of himself, but in so doing, he identifies himself with people - that is, people everywhere, not for the purpose of taking them apart, but simply revealing their true nature.
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Time is for dragonflies and angels. The former live too little and the latter live too long.
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A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make sense.
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Love is what you've been through with somebody.
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Dogs are obsessed with being happy.
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Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.
James Thurber
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This is the posture of fortunes slave: one foot in the gravy, one foot in the grave.
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For one thing, she pronounced flowers 'flars' and I couldn't let it slide.
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