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Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?

James Thurber

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James Thurber
Age: 66 †
Born: 1894
Born: December 18
Died: 1961
Died: November 2
Autobiographer
Cartoonist
Drawer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Columbus
Ohio
James Grover Thurber
Wrong
Phones
Funny
Conflict
Wells
Answer
Well
Number
Numbers
Comedy
Hilarious
Answers
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Called
Phone

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Hundreds of hysterical persons must confuse these phenomena with messages from the beyond and take their glory to the bishop rather than the eye doctor.
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Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.
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The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
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Don't get it right, just get it written.
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The pounding of the cylinders increased: ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa.
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Beautiful things don't ask for attention.
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I'm sixty-five and I guess that puts me in with the geriatrics, but if there were fifteen months in every year, I'd only be forty-eight.
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Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.
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It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
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I don't believe the writer should know too much where he's going. If he does, he runs into old man blueprint—old man propaganda.
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I myself have known some profoundly thoughtful dogs.
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The wit makes fun of other persons the satirist makes fun of the world the humorist makes fun of himself, but in so doing, he identifies himself with people - that is, people everywhere, not for the purpose of taking them apart, but simply revealing their true nature.
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Unless artists can remember what it was to be a little boy, they are only half complete as artist and as man.
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God bless... God damn.
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Man is troubled by what might be called the Dog Wish, a strange and involved compulsion to be as happy and carefree as a dog
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Sophistication might be described as the ability to cope gracefully with a situation involving the presence of a formidable menace to one's poise and prestige (such as the butler, or the man under the bed - but never the husband).
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The Old Man ain’t afraid of hell
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Man is flying too fast for a world that is round. Soon he will catch up with himself in a great rear end collision.
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Men are more interesting than women, but women ae more fascinating.
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I make mistakes, but I am on the side of Good, the Golux said, by accident and happenchance. I had high hopes of being Evil when I was two, but in my youth I came upon a firefly burning in a spider's web. I saved the victim's life. The firefly's ? said the minstrel. The spider's. The blinking arsonist had set the web on fire.
James Thurber