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Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?

James Thurber

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James Thurber
Age: 66 †
Born: 1894
Born: December 18
Died: 1961
Died: November 2
Autobiographer
Cartoonist
Drawer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Columbus
Ohio
James Grover Thurber
Wells
Answer
Well
Number
Numbers
Comedy
Hilarious
Answers
Witty
Called
Phone
Wrong
Phones
Funny
Conflict

More quotes by James Thurber

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I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
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The appreciative smile, the chuckle, the soundless mirth, so important to the success of comedy, cannot be understood unless one sits among the audience and feels the warmth created by the quality of laughter that the audience takes home with it.
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I could have killed Gregory Fitzhurst at three hundred feet with my left hand.
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Looks can be deceiving it's eating that's believing.
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The past is an old armchair in the attic, the present an ominous ticking sound, and the future is anybody's guess.
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The pounding of the cylinders increased: ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa.
James Thurber
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My opposition to Interviews lies in the fact that offhand answers have little value or grace of expression, and that such oral give and take helps to perpetuate the decline of the English language.
James Thurber
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The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
James Thurber
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Comedy has ceased to be a challenge to the mental processes. It has become a therapy of relaxation, a kind of tranquilizing drug.
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Editing should be, especially in the case of old writers, a counselling rather than a collaborating task. The tendency of the writer-editor to collaborate is natural, but he should say to himself, 'How can I help this writer to say it better in his own style?' and avoid 'How can I show him how I would write it, if it were my piece?'
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Hundreds of hysterical persons must confuse these phenomena with messages from the beyond and take their glory to the bishop rather than the eye doctor.
James Thurber
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Laughter need not be cut out of anything, since it improves everything.
James Thurber
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American girls often marry someone they can't stand to spite someone they can.
James Thurber
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Don't count your boobies until they are hatched.
James Thurber
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Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?
James Thurber
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History is replete with proofs, from Cato the Elder to Kennedy the Younger, that if you scratch a statesman you find an actor, but it is becoming harder and harder, in our time, to tell government from show business.
James Thurber
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The wit makes fun of other persons the satirist makes fun of the world the humorist makes fun of himself, but in so doing, he identifies himself with people - that is, people everywhere, not for the purpose of taking them apart, but simply revealing their true nature.
James Thurber
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Reason is 6/7 of treason.
James Thurber
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The unicorn is a mythical beast.
James Thurber
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For one thing, she pronounced flowers 'flars' and I couldn't let it slide.
James Thurber