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Our parents were a test tube and a turkey baster.

James Patterson

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James Patterson
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: March 22
Actor
Advertising Person
Author
Film Producer
Novelist
Philanthropist
Screenwriter
Television Producer
Newburgh
New York
James Brendan Patterson
James B. Patterson
Tube
Tubes
Turkeys
Turkey
Test
Tests
Parents
Parent

More quotes by James Patterson

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One of the interesting things about YA books - I don't know about Percy Jackson, but I do know about 'Twilight' and 'Maximum Ride': There are a lot of adult readers. In fact, we released 'Maximum Ride' both as a paperback for kids and as a mass release for adults.
James Patterson
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After all, Fnick is Superman, said Iggy. Shut up, Jeff, I said, but I was smiling. I lifted Iggy's fingers to my face so that he knew.
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Meaning what? We're going to pretend nothing's going on? That's stupid. The only way to deal with any of this is to get it out in the open. Have you been watching Oprah again?
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Do I open it? Do I open it? Of course I freaking open it!
James Patterson
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Is that clear? said Borcht as clear as pea soup I said
James Patterson
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So the first thing we're gonna do, I told him, is push you off the roof.
James Patterson
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You stand out like a fart in a church.
James Patterson
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He grinned at me so unexpectedly I forgot to flap for a second and dropped several feet. You looove me, he crooned smugly. Holding his arms out wide, he added, You love me this much.
James Patterson
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I'm going to introduce BookShots, which are these under-150-page books that I'm launching, and they're under $5. They just launched in Australia. I already had a ton of content, but now add 50 books a year of content.
James Patterson
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why can't you just get out of here and leave me alone?i bellowed. i can't! dylan shouted back,his face twisted with an anger i'd never seen from him. you can,i said through gritted teeth.just point your wings that way and flap!
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Sometimes when you're at your most certain, that's when everything you know is wrong.
James Patterson
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SITTING TIGHT? Holing up? Waiting for answers? Those are things I'm not good at. Planning a massive attack against mechanical geeky-like things when i was already furious and itching to kill something? Piece o'cake
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I don't damsel well. Distress, I can do. Damseling? Not so much.
James Patterson
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Jeez, was that a lion? Please tell me it’s behind bars. It’s a zoo, Iggy,” Nudge said, taking his arms and leading him. Everything’s behind bars.
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A vet! I started laughing weakly and had to sit on the edge of the tub. A vet. Wait till they found out how appropriate that was.
James Patterson
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I can talk to fish! Angel said happily, water dripping off her long, skinny body. Ask one over for dinner, Fang said, joining us.
James Patterson
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When I write I pretend I'm telling a story to someone in the room and I don't want them to get up until I'm finished.
James Patterson
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Time for bed.” I held my fist out. One by one, my flock stacked theirs on top, and then we headed up into the trees to sleep the sleep of the innocent. Well, okay, maybe not so innocent. But the sleep of the much less guilty than others, for sure.
James Patterson
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Men suck, even imaginary ones
James Patterson
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We’ll be back!” he snarled. It was really Ari’s voice. Boy, you just can’t kill people like you used to,” said Fang
James Patterson