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You stand out like a fart in a church.

James Patterson

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James Patterson
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: March 22
Actor
Advertising Person
Author
Film Producer
Novelist
Philanthropist
Screenwriter
Television Producer
Newburgh
New York
James Brendan Patterson
James B. Patterson
Fart
Maximum
Stand
Church
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More quotes by James Patterson

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I recommend you stick to your own species, Shy Babe. p. 155
James Patterson
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Fang looked at me, hope in his eyes, and I smirked at him. I save the huge emotional kissy-face for imminent death scenes. This probably didn't qualify.
James Patterson
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Denial is not just a river in Egypt.
James Patterson
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Do I open it? Do I open it? Of course I freaking open it!
James Patterson
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You love me this much.
James Patterson
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I vill eat nine Snikuhs bahs visout bahfing
James Patterson
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you plan to fail if you fail to plan
James Patterson
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Why would you let [the TV audiences] build a habit of going to the cable networks? So I think they've obviously smartened up now, and they're not giving the summer to cable anymore.
James Patterson
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I’m not comfortable in this stadium,” I explained, trying to look calm. “I know. And you hate Fang looking at those girls. But we’re still having fun, and Fang still loves you, and you’ll still save the world. Okay?
James Patterson
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Why do things this beautiful make me want to cry? I asked Michael as I leaned into him. It was an unguarded question, one I'd never have asked of Hugh. I don't know, said Michael. Maybe beauty, true beauty, is so overwhelming, it goes straight to our hearts. Maybe it makes us feel emotions that are locked away inside.
James Patterson
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What I'm really addicted to is getting people to understand that if their kids aren't competent readers coming out of middle school, it's really going to be hard for them in high school.
James Patterson
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De tall, dark vun--dere's nothing special about him at all, ter Borcht said dismissively of Fang, who hadn't moved since the doctor had come in. Well, he's a snappy dresser, I offered. One side of Fang's mouth quirked.
James Patterson
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He nuzzled my neck, inhaling deeply. “Mmm. You smell so good.” “Oh, yeah,” I said, smirking. “I call this new perfume ‘Le Jungle grime et tropical BO.’ ” “Dirt and sweat. Very sexy.
James Patterson
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Is that clear? said Borcht as clear as pea soup I said
James Patterson
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Tell me again what we're doing here, I said, running a continuous scan of our surroundings. Fang popped some Cracker Jack into his mouth. We're here to watch manly men do manly things. I followed Fang's line of sight: He was watching the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, who were not doing manly things, by any stretch of the imagination.
James Patterson
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Never underestimate the power of funny, it moves mountains.
James Patterson
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Bombs are good. I love bombs.--Iggy
James Patterson
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Your mind creates your reality. If you expect nothing, you open up the universe to give you options. If you expect the worst, you usually get it.
James Patterson
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The subject for a lot of non-fiction is very emotional, but if you read it, it's the most boring, dry stuff. I wanted 'Torn Apart' to be extremely accessible and readable.
James Patterson
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You could have gotten a car with GPS, Total said helpfully. Yes, I said Or we could have brought along a dog that doesn't talk. I gave Angel a pointed look, and she smiled, well, angelically, at me. Total huffed, offended at me and climbed into her lap.
James Patterson