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You stand out like a fart in a church.

James Patterson

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James Patterson
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: March 22
Actor
Advertising Person
Author
Film Producer
Novelist
Philanthropist
Screenwriter
Television Producer
Newburgh
New York
James Brendan Patterson
James B. Patterson
Fart
Maximum
Stand
Church
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More quotes by James Patterson

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You know things have gone bad when military marches pass for pop music.
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Iggy: I'll grab a zebra Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent. so people are choking and gagging and let's throw beef jerky in their eyes! Now, that's a plan!
James Patterson
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Steve turned to us again, looking so dang enthusastic that I wondered how much coffee he'd had this morning. So, you kids want to be big stars, eh? God, no! I said spewing crumbs. No way! Oddly, this seemed to throw a petite wrench into the convo.
James Patterson
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you plan to fail if you fail to plan
James Patterson
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I have an idea. It’s risky, and Max will kill us when she finds out.” Iggy raised his head. “Sounds like my kind of idea.
James Patterson
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For me, Zoo has always been a fable. It has nothing to do with realism. It's a fable about what man is doing to the world, and the animals have retribution. But in the real world, this would not happen. But in the world of 1984, this kind of thing can happen in a story.
James Patterson
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If Fang is in any way harmed while I'm gone-if he gets a hangnail-you won't see another morning. Are we clear on that?
James Patterson
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Pick a tree. I'll carve our initials into it. -Fang
James Patterson
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Just for fun I flew in huge banking arcs, taking deep breaths, enjoying the feel of my newly weightless hair. The stylist had called it “wind tossed.” If only she knew.
James Patterson
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She didn't flirt with him, but they hung out together a lot, and every time I saw their heads bent over a computer screen or map, it made my stomach clench. And my teeth. And my fists.
James Patterson
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He grinned at me so unexpectedly I forgot to flap for a second and dropped several feet. You looove me, he crooned smugly. Holding his arms out wide, he added, You love me this much.
James Patterson
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Here's what I was thinking about:1.Who the new threat was 2.The air show in Mexico City 3.How to get Total to quit milking his injury, because enough was enough 4. My mom and Half sister Ella 5.Fang 6.Fang 7.Fang
James Patterson
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I do 30 to 40 books a year, so it's a fair amount of reading. Back and forth between nonfiction and fiction. I usually have three or four things that are open on my desk, on my bed, on audiobook in the car.
James Patterson
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SITTING TIGHT? Holing up? Waiting for answers? Those are things I'm not good at. Planning a massive attack against mechanical geeky-like things when i was already furious and itching to kill something? Piece o'cake
James Patterson
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My choices were to either give in and let them kill all of us or fight back with everything I had. I chose the second one, ’cause I’m just funny that way.
James Patterson
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Hey. Not sure what’s going on-gonna go find out. Be careful and don’t do anything stupid. Don’t come after me-your better on your own. See you. F I sat on the edge of the bed, holding the note. Okay, so Fang had looked up vague in the dictionary and this was what it had said to write.
James Patterson
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Jackpot, Max! Jackpot! It was Fang and he was giggling hysterically. For those of you just joining us, Fang doesn't giggle, esspecially hysterically.
James Patterson
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Part 3 BACK TO SCHOOL (THE NORMAL KIND)
James Patterson
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You're lying through your fangs, Iggy accused. Fang tried to play innocent--but innocent Fang is an oxymoron, so it didn't work.
James Patterson
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I'm way hot, he muttered. But I don't feel sick. Just — way hot. Fang
James Patterson