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Men suck, even imaginary ones

James Patterson

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James Patterson
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: March 22
Actor
Advertising Person
Author
Film Producer
Novelist
Philanthropist
Screenwriter
Television Producer
Newburgh
New York
James Brendan Patterson
James B. Patterson
Suck
Imaginary
Ones
Even
Men

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I love to tell stories. It's a delight for me.
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So you have your price.... Your soul for a cookie.
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The weird, weird thing about devastating loss is that life actually goes on. When you're faced with a tragedy, a loss so huge that you have no idea how you can live through it, somehow, the world keeps turning, the seconds keep ticking.
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My favorite books are actually very complicated - 'One Hundred Years of Solitude', 'Ulysses'.
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He nuzzled my neck, inhaling deeply. “Mmm. You smell so good.” “Oh, yeah,” I said, smirking. “I call this new perfume ‘Le Jungle grime et tropical BO.’ ” “Dirt and sweat. Very sexy.
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I looked around. As flock leader, everyone was expecting me to make a decision. Jeb's presence here would bring uncertainty, chaos, probably danger. It would perk up my day.
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I don't know about the rest of you who have little voices, but something about mine made me feel completely compelled to listen to it.
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Am I tough? Am I strong? Am I hard-core? Absolutely. Did I whimper with pathetic delight when I sank my teeth into my hot fried-chicken sandwich? You betcha.
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I won’t lie to you—it was hilarious. Yes, we were in trouble, yes, this was a disaster, and so one and so forth, but I have to say, seeing those upturned faces, the looks, was bout the best thing that happened to us since we’d come to New York.
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If by 'miracle kids' you mean innocent test-tube babies whose DNA was forcibly unraveled and merged with two percent avian genes, yeah, I guess that would be us, I said. Because it's a miracle that we're not complete nut jobs and mutant disasters.
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Why would you let [the TV audiences] build a habit of going to the cable networks? So I think they've obviously smartened up now, and they're not giving the summer to cable anymore.
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I'm going to turn fifteen tomorrow, i said, warming to the idea. It's high time. I can't remember when i turned fourteen. (said by Max) If you get to be fifteen, then i get to be fifteen! Iggy sounded indignant. i looked at Fang. Wanna be fifteen? His smile melted me. Yeah.
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When I write I pretend I'm telling a story to someone in the room and I don't want them to get up until I'm finished.
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They [Erasers] were bad fliers, Angel chimed in, And in their minds, they weren't all kill the mutants, like they usually are. They were like, remember to flap!
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I muttered a swear word to myself. After I heard Angel cussing like a sailor when she stubbed her toe, my new resolution was to watch my language. All I needed was a six-year-old mutant with a potty mouth
James Patterson
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Walking over to Iggy, he poked him with his shoe. Does anysing on you vork properly? Iggy rubbed his forehead with one hand. Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony.
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Iggy: Now what? Who you gonna call? A quiet voice in the hallway outside: Ghostbusters! (Captain Perry and John groan) John: That phrase is ruined forever.
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We will destroy you,” the Flyboys droned. “You have no escape.” That was the most imaginative, threatening thing the whitecoats had programmed these ’droids to say? “Talk about lame,” Fang muttered.
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I didn't care for most of the books I was being asked to read in school. I started reading like crazy right after high school when I got a job in a mental hospital. I was working my way through college, and I did a lot of night shifts, and there was nothing to do. So I read like crazy, serious stuff, all the classics.
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I'm going to introduce BookShots, which are these under-150-page books that I'm launching, and they're under $5. They just launched in Australia. I already had a ton of content, but now add 50 books a year of content.
James Patterson