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Gazzy: What does that mean? (points to metal plaque warning to stay off the third rail that said Stay off the third rail!) Fang: It means the third rail has seven hundred volts of direct current running through it. Touch it and you're human popcorn.

James Patterson

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James Patterson
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: March 22
Actor
Advertising Person
Author
Film Producer
Novelist
Philanthropist
Screenwriter
Television Producer
Newburgh
New York
James Brendan Patterson
James B. Patterson
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Current
Fang
Means
Currents
Popcorn
Running
Third
Fangs
Thirds
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Touch
Metal
Human
Seven
Metals
Humans
Direct
Warning
Volt
Mean
Hundred
Points
Plaque

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The receptionist looked us over, then went back to typing something incredibly urgent—like her résumé́ for another job.
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People always come up to me and say, 'you should do standup.' It's nice to discover things about yourself. That keeps everything lively and fun.
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It was the building from the drawing in my brain. And if you don’t think that’s a weird sentence, maybe you should reread it.
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Jane-Sweetie, we've talked about your weight- my mother began. I'm only eight years old, I said. How about I promise to be anorexic later?
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I fell into a deep sleep tucked in that little cocoon, a deeper sleep than I might of had in years. Right up until someone kicked me and said Gotcha!
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Did you know that wasn’t me, the other Max?” I asked. “Yeah.” “When?” “Right away.” “How?” I persisted. “We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?” He turned to me and grinned, making my world brighter. “She offered to cook breakfast.
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SITTING TIGHT? Holing up? Waiting for answers? Those are things I'm not good at. Planning a massive attack against mechanical geeky-like things when i was already furious and itching to kill something? Piece o'cake
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I choose you, Max. -Fang
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Do you like to eat things? -I love eating. I list it as a hobby.
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We went back to the weird Institute building. At night there was a lot more activity. Erasers coming in non-stop. Nice cars, nice clothes, nice smug faces (that I wanted to smash!). -Fang's Blog
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You were designed to be very smart, Max, she told me. We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing. And yet I still can't program my DVD player, I said.
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Fang was going to kill me. And after I was dead, he would kill me again.
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Never underestimate the power of funny, it moves mountains.
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Yes, I said. My name is seven-five-nine-nine-three-nine-ex-dash-one. Junior.
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If you're in the room, I want to be next to you. If you're gone, I think about you. You're who I want to talk to. In a fight, I want you at my back. When we're together the sun is shining. When we're apart, everything is in shades of gray.
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Your mind creates your reality. If you expect nothing, you open up the universe to give you options. If you expect the worst, you usually get it.
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WARNING If you dare to read this story, you become part of the Experiment
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It was a pretty complete list. The kind of list one makes when one cannot fall asleep because one's thoughts keep swirling through one's brain like a bunch of sparrows on crack.
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He nuzzled my neck, inhaling deeply. “Mmm. You smell so good.” “Oh, yeah,” I said, smirking. “I call this new perfume ‘Le Jungle grime et tropical BO.’ ” “Dirt and sweat. Very sexy.
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Home is wherever we all are together.
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