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I don't get a chance to be funny with the thrillers. I like to be funny, and I think I am really funny. So with 'Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life', it was fun to let loose.

James Patterson

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James Patterson
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: March 22
Actor
Advertising Person
Author
Film Producer
Novelist
Philanthropist
Screenwriter
Television Producer
Newburgh
New York
James Brendan Patterson
James B. Patterson
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Funny
School
Years
Thrillers
Really
Loose
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Life
Middle

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Jane-Sweetie, we've talked about your weight- my mother began. I'm only eight years old, I said. How about I promise to be anorexic later?
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Fang (sarcasticaly): Go pick out a tree and I'll carve our initials in it. Max: (screams and goes in the bathroom)
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There are terrific models for success with reluctant readers, but many school systems and state governments need to set aside their 'not invented here' and 'we have more important problems than education' attitudes.
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They turned to Angel. We will call you Little One, the leader said, obviously deciding to dispense with the whole confusing name thing. Okay, said Angel agreeably. I'll call you Guy in a White Lab Coat. He frowned. That can be his Indian name, I suggested.
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De tall, dark vun--dere's nothing special about him at all, ter Borcht said dismissively of Fang, who hadn't moved since the doctor had come in. Well, he's a snappy dresser, I offered. One side of Fang's mouth quirked.
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My favorite books are actually very complicated - 'One Hundred Years of Solitude', 'Ulysses'.
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You know, when you're right, that's all you get to be.
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If by 'miracle kids' you mean innocent test-tube babies whose DNA was forcibly unraveled and merged with two percent avian genes, yeah, I guess that would be us, I said. Because it's a miracle that we're not complete nut jobs and mutant disasters.
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Why, the little Voice inside my head, of course. You mean you don't have one? I did.
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Pain fades,” I said slowly. “But being a nutcase seems to stick around. Guess who got the better deal here?” The last thing I remember is Mr. Chu’s face blazing with fury.
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I can talk to fish! Angel said happily, water dripping off her long, skinny body. Ask one over for dinner, Fang said, joining us.
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But then we have to leave, have to. It's always been that way, and it will always be that way, Jane. That's just.. how it works
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This is not a democracy, I said, understanding he fear but unable to do anything about it. It's a Maxocracy.
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When your own romantic life is falling apart, everyone else's looks fabulous.
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What kind of thoughtless creep would burn a book?
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You were designed to be very smart, Max, she told me. We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing. And yet I still can't program my DVD player, I said.
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There's no such thing as a kid who hates reading. There are kids who love reading, and kids who are reading the wrong books.
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Please, sit down, Sharon said with another hair toss. I made a mental note to practice doing that in a mirror the next time I saw one. it seemed a useful skill, right up there with roundhouse kicks.
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Yes. I owed my life, Angel's life, and my mother's life to a mutant's ability to create industrial-strength snot.
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I'm very emotional. I do feel stuff, for better or worse.
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