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If Mother had to be told not to shove the entire brick of Ivory up Junior's hindquarters, constipation is the least of his problems.

James Lileks

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James Lileks
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: August 9
Journalist
Juniors
Bricks
Entire
Problems
Constipation
Told
Shove
Least
Ivory
Mother
Brick
Problem
Junior

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Contempt for the things people choose of their own free will is, at its heart, contempt for free will.
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All you need to know about Arafat was that he insisted on wearing a pistol when he addressed the UN General Assembly. And all you need to know about the UN, I suppose, is that they let him.
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The mind forever turns on the lathe of its own contradictions.
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If you think the ’80s were dumber than the ’70s, either you weren’t there or you weren’t paying attention.
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I'll start drinking tea over coffee when the big hand is on Never and the little hand is on Ain't Gonna Happen.
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I’ll feel that horrible feeling in my stomach you get when you’ve gone over to the Dark Side. But I’ll be fine. That’s the good thing about the Dark Side. Eventually, your eyes adjust.
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When your opponent sets up a straw man, set it on fire and kick the cinders around the stage. Don't worry about losing the Strawperson- American community vote.
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From Day One the very existence of [Camp Bravo] has been a popcorn hull in the tender gums of the hard left.
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I've always wondered if there was a Hezbollah version of minesweeper where you get points for blowing up on your first move.
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Calculus destroys self-esteem on contact.
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The newspaper is a lecture. The Web is a conversation.
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The same people who accuse America of coddling dictators are sputtering with bilious fury because we actually deposed one.
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We always ask where the time went. We never ask where it's coming from.
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What unnerves so many liberals about talk radio? Simple: It's the unapologetic nature of the conversation, the unwavering sense of certainty. Where's the nuance? The shades of gray? We all know truth is a fragile butterfly dancing in and out of shadow and light, and these guys act as though truth is a rhino charging across a sunlit veldt.
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I don't believe in the very concept of first thing in the morning. I'm a third thing in the afternoon fellow.
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Yay Condi Rice. I want her to go to Saudi Arabia, and I want her first words upon getting off the plane to be 'I'll drive.'
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It takes a particularly rarified variety of idiot to look at a Jew-hating fascist with a small mustache - and decide that his opponent is the Nazi.
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Genius flames and dies, but amiable competence can live forever.
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And I don't want posture lessons from a country that spent the last 20 years flopping on its back and grabbing its ankles when Saddam showed up waving stacks of Francs in exchange for bang-sticks.
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So now we're after a constitutional amendment that defines marriage as a guy-and-gal thing. To the founders, this would have been like an amendment requiring the sun to rise in the east it would fall under the category of obvious truths that the Constitution need not address.
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