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I'll start drinking tea over coffee when the big hand is on Never and the little hand is on Ain't Gonna Happen.

James Lileks

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James Lileks
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: August 9
Journalist
Hands
Coffee
Littles
Drinking
Little
Gonna
Never
Happen
Hand
Start
Bigs
Happens
Tea

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If Mother had to be told not to shove the entire brick of Ivory up Junior's hindquarters, constipation is the least of his problems.
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Genius flames and dies, but amiable competence can live forever.
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Ah, if only the best place for storing embryonic stem cells was Yucca Flat.
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It takes a particularly rarified variety of idiot to look at a Jew-hating fascist with a small mustache - and decide that his opponent is the Nazi.
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Yay Condi Rice. I want her to go to Saudi Arabia, and I want her first words upon getting off the plane to be 'I'll drive.'
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I don't believe in the very concept of first thing in the morning. I'm a third thing in the afternoon fellow.
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I've always wondered if there was a Hezbollah version of minesweeper where you get points for blowing up on your first move.
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If you think the ’80s were dumber than the ’70s, either you weren’t there or you weren’t paying attention.
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There are three stages to a man's life. 1. He laughs at Clark Griswold. 2. He sympathizes deeply with Clark Griswold. 3. He laughs at Clark Griswold.
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When your opponent sets up a straw man, set it on fire and kick the cinders around the stage. Don't worry about losing the Strawperson- American community vote.
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I’ll feel that horrible feeling in my stomach you get when you’ve gone over to the Dark Side. But I’ll be fine. That’s the good thing about the Dark Side. Eventually, your eyes adjust.
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The newspaper is a lecture. The Web is a conversation.
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The mind forever turns on the lathe of its own contradictions.
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Quietly scuttling Columbus Day sales doesn't mean they are opposed to 15th century Iberian seafarers it just means They don't want protestors on the sales floor throwing blood on the Calvin Klein hosiery in the name of the anti-imperialistic cause.
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The same people who accuse America of coddling dictators are sputtering with bilious fury because we actually deposed one.
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And I don't want posture lessons from a country that spent the last 20 years flopping on its back and grabbing its ankles when Saddam showed up waving stacks of Francs in exchange for bang-sticks.
James Lileks
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From Day One the very existence of [Camp Bravo] has been a popcorn hull in the tender gums of the hard left.
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Calculus destroys self-esteem on contact.
James Lileks
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All you need to know about Arafat was that he insisted on wearing a pistol when he addressed the UN General Assembly. And all you need to know about the UN, I suppose, is that they let him.
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What unnerves so many liberals about talk radio? Simple: It's the unapologetic nature of the conversation, the unwavering sense of certainty. Where's the nuance? The shades of gray? We all know truth is a fragile butterfly dancing in and out of shadow and light, and these guys act as though truth is a rhino charging across a sunlit veldt.
James Lileks