The next time somebody announces that he plans to get Medieval on your ass, tell him you're going to get Renaissance on his gonads.

There are no atheists in foxholes isn't an argument against atheism, it's an argument against foxholes.

Ockham's disposable razors

The odor of bowel wind is known to every human, but the fragrance of book glue has crossed only a fraction of mortal nostrils. And yet it behooves us not to judge the unlettered too harshly. We must stay the impulse to write CHUCKLEHEAD above their doors and carve DOLT upon their tombstones.